Truth is I am a bit of a perfectionist. I like things just so and for our events and processes to run smoothly and professionally. And up until now, I think they have.
The trouble is that we're currently short-staffed and I am having to do most of the admin, which as a creative-type doesn't really bode well for a smooth-running office. But I have always prided myself that I can take on most of our admin tasks, but that doesn't mean that a) I want to, and b) more importantly, that I am any good at it.
Take the website. We like to keep it current and our webmasters have an impressive behind-the-scenes program that enables us to do it ourselves. But it is taking me f-o-r-e-v-e-r, as invariably I forget to click on one button and voilà it is live. And wrong. I have goofed a lot of late, and eating humble pie does not come naturally to me. It's hard to admit our mistakes and our shortfalls.
Yes, there is a manual but who's got the time to read it. And truth is, even if I had the time, I doubt I would. I am definitely a hands-on learner but right now my hands are full.
So I am working on letting go of the perfectionism -- it isn't working in my favour. Yet it is hard to admit that all is not well in paradise, especially when you've been known as the go-to-girl when others have problems. Guess I picked the right words to live my life by this year -- authenticity and acceptance.
Why do we expect ourselves to be good at everything? Well, almost everything. I could never claim a great aptitude for math, which may explain why hiring a bookkeeper was the first thing I did as soon as I could afford it. Actually I should probably have done it before I could have afforded it.
Obviously hiring someone to take on some of these tasks would be one solution, but to be honest, I am sort of employee-fatigued. My disillusionment stems from the fact that no sooner have I hired someone, trained them up so they are actually useful, than they leave and I am left to start all over again. I am sure other employers have felt the same way.
It is also interesting to observe that when I am working on something I don't like to do, the day is longer and my patience shorter. Thank goodness this is just a short stopgap until I come to my senses, take the plunge and hire someone. Until then, I am learning and who knows, by the time I have mastered it all, I might even enjoy it.