Novelist, The Book of Love: Guidance in Affairs of the Heart
Barbara Sibbald (www.barabarasibbald.com) is a two-time novelist, editor at a leading health journal, and an award-winning freelance journalist.
We have a love-hate relationship with the idea of marriage. On the one hand, we embrace its emotional closeness and practical aspects, primarily the financial and emotional stability it provides, particularly for raising children. On the other hand, we resent the day-to-day mundane sameness of it.
When your partner says "I love you" too early in the relationship, it's often because he or she is feeling insecure themselves or in the relationship, or more likely both. But if you don't oblige with the return "I love you," it makes the other person feel even more insecure. But that's no excuse to lie.
03/23/2012 09:53 EDT
We all labour under the sad misconceptions of "romantic love." The implication is that we ought to "live happily ever after," but that's just not realistic. Or healthy. Cheerfully accept your partner's limitations and your own. Don't expect that one person to meet all your needs.
03/05/2012 05:34 EST
The ideal of romantic love is mired in the beginning of the love relationship; the most sexually charged, fleeting period when we are most attracted to one another. This inevitably dissipates, and either the relationship fizzles or slowly unravels, or that we begin the real work of love. And so the question is: How do you make love last?
02/29/2012 10:39 EST
Don't expect to have all your needs met by one person. This sounds like a variation on the platitude "Don't put all your eggs in one basket," but this tendency is often the biggest stumbling block to finding a healthy love relationship -- and keeping it.
02/21/2012 01:01 EST
Stacks of self-help books and legions of therapists concur: Good sex is a barometer of relationship health. Making love can help establish a bond of respectful kindness and is an opportunity to relax, put aside pressures, and reinforce emotional intimacy.
02/14/2012 12:16 EST
Once you have broken that promise, that vow of faithfulness, there is a terrible sense of loss, no matter how you dress it up. In addition to the betrayal of your shared intimacy, the lying takes a toll. Each lie adds a layer of deceit until you hardly know what to say to your partner anymore.
02/10/2012 12:35 EST
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