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Darlena Cunha

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Darlena Cunha is a former television producer turned stay-at-home mom to twin four-year-old girls. When she's not parenting, she's writing novels, freelancing, going to grad school or blogging at http://parentwin.com.
I Don't Need Anyone To Tell Me What Mothers Should Do All

I Don't Need Anyone To Tell Me What Mothers Should Do All Day

I'm writing this because I often complain about and worry about my new line of work / not work. I feel like I'm missing out on real life by not punching a clock. That I've perhaps sacrificed my career and will never get it back. I want to remind myself that even if I don't get it back, I haven't been wasting my time here. If anything, I've become a better worker, not a worse one.
06/25/2014 07:49 EDT
It's Okay To Be 'Just a

It's Okay To Be 'Just a Mom'

What's wrong with being moms? What's so awful about this that we feel we need to shout at the world that we are so much more than moms, that we are so much more than everyone else? Fighting fire with fire rarely works and this is yet another case of it. If you were truly proud to be a mom, you wouldn't have to validate your choice on Facebook.
06/01/2014 11:42 EDT
Redefine Your Own

Redefine Your Own Beauty

Quite a few years ago, now, I had a slight moment of fame. I was driving to work (yeah, I used to work!) and on my 45-minute
05/03/2014 08:04 EDT
Stop Comparing Girls to Boys and Just Love Your

Stop Comparing Girls to Boys and Just Love Your Kids

What even is this steaming plate of garbage on my computer screen right now? By the time my girls are adults, society (with no help from you, apparently) will hopefully have come farther in allowing fluidity in gender roles, more lenient maternity and paternity leaves, women will make the same as men, and even now, even now, you're right, we can be intelligent and efficient and be mothers.
02/22/2014 11:52 EST
Please Don't Tell Me How To Be a Better

Please Don't Tell Me How To Be a Better Feminist

Seriously, I dare you to go find a "sad-looking" girl and say something "kind" to her. People, anyone, should not be imposing their opinions on what "sad" is on poor random girls who are probably not even sad anyway. Talk about narcissism. What makes you think anything you have to say to a woman you are guessing is sad would make any difference to her?
01/31/2014 12:23 EST
When You Donate Food, Don't Just Give the Cans You Can't

When You Donate Food, Don't Just Give the Cans You Can't Stomach

It's important to be mindful when you give. Next time you attend a function where people ask for a donation for charity don't reach for the minute rice or the wax beans that you know you're not going to eat -- reach for your favourite tin of soup, or a jug of real juice or some healthy pasta, and consider how much MORE receiving that kind of generosity will mean to someone who does need the help.
12/18/2013 12:25 EST
The Most Important Rule for Being a Good Human in

The Most Important Rule for Being a Good Human in 2014

Never base your feminism in telling other women what makes them a "good" or "bad" feminist. Being a good, compassionate person should be your only criteria, and wearing makeup or liking <em>Sex and the City </em>should not be an issue.
12/13/2013 05:46 EST
Man, I Really Hate Wrapping

Man, I Really Hate Wrapping Presents

Well, here it is, Christmas again, and that means...wrapping. Horrid, never-turns-out-right-no-matter-how-careful-calm-and-HAPPY-you-are-about-it wrapping. I am the worst wrapper in the history of present wrapping.
12/08/2013 03:45 EST
Kids Don't Need to Be the Centre of Your Life, But Don't Be a

Kids Don't Need to Be the Centre of Your Life, But Don't Be a Jerk

When young mother Stephanie Metz (she's 29) says "My kids are not the centre of my world, and that's quite simply because they are not the centre of any world, anywhere," my old, wizened ass (I'm 31, and most decidedly not a young mother) would like to point out that this sentence actually doesn't make any sense.
11/12/2013 05:39 EST
Here's a Tip: Don't Hand Out Fat-Shaming Notes to

Here's a Tip: Don't Hand Out Fat-Shaming Notes to Kids

Perhaps by now you've seen the letter handed out by a woman in North Dakota to children she deems to be "moderately obese" who she thinks shouldn't be consuming candy this Halloween. There are so many things wrong with this I hardly know where to start.
10/31/2013 12:02 EDT
Maria Kang Should Learn the Difference Between Excuses and

Maria Kang Should Learn the Difference Between Excuses and Reality

When you're working two or three jobs, as a single parent, and your car is on the verge of breaking down, and your kids need their time with you and you're just making ends meet, well, running 4x a week and doing your core 3x a week is not happening. It's not an excuse. It's reality.
10/20/2013 10:26 EDT
Republicans Are Like

Republicans Are Like Toddlers

Government shutdown? You can blame Obama. Sure. Many people do. There's a whole meme about it that I see daily. Thanks, Obama
10/02/2013 11:52 EDT
This Mother's Letter Perpetuates Rape

This Mother's Letter Perpetuates Rape Culture

If you're a parent, you've probably by now seen the cocky, controlling, pretty weird letter written by Kim Hall to all teenage girls her teenage boys may ever come into contact with online. Letters like the one Mrs. Hall wrote to teenage girls are a prime example of how rape culture perpetuates itself in today's society in an insidious and innocent-looking way.
09/06/2013 12:43 EDT
Miley Cyrus, White Feminism, and the Dance of

Miley Cyrus, White Feminism, and the Dance of Oppression

This is not about Miley. It's not about back-up dancers. It's not about one entertainment show that happened one night in August 2013. It's about an institutionalized thought process that is subtly reinforced at every given opportunity. And if we stop writing about the institution, aren't we doing society a disservice?
09/01/2013 03:01 EDT
There Is No 'Right' Way to Be a New

There Is No 'Right' Way to Be a New Parent

In my years of internet research, I learned one core fact I think every parent should take into consideration: You can find an expert to back up any belief you have. You need to do what feels right for you and for your child. You cannot go by the book in parenting because there simply is no book.
08/21/2013 05:10 EDT

"Repost This if You Are a Mom and You LOVE Your KIDS"

There is yet another chain message going around the Facebook ranks, this time involving moms. While I understand, and even support, what I feel the author's intended message is, I don't think that a poorly-written and typo-laden chain letter can sum up motherhood. So I'm forced to ask myself -- yet again -- why Facebook is so stupid.
08/14/2013 12:29 EDT
Sex or

Sex or Parenting?

Yesterday, some words came out of my mouth. And those words got me thinking. It occurred to me that many of the phrases uttered by parents and children to each other in the heat of growing up a good family could also very easily be instead uttered in...the heat of the moment, if you know what I mean. Go over these phrases and try to figure out if they're <strong>Sex or Parenting</strong>?
08/08/2013 12:42 EDT
Ladies: Hugo Schwyzer's Life Is Not Your

Ladies: Hugo Schwyzer's Life Is Not Your Fault

Have you heard about Hugo Schwyzer taking a break from the feminist internet? He's leaving, and he wants you all to know that it's because you're such meanie heads. Yes, you. Posting your snarky tweets about his freelance gigs, commenting your agitated words under his writing. Can't a man speak for women and just be left alone?
08/01/2013 05:21 EDT