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David Martin

Full-time writer of short humour and political satire

David Martin is a lawyer by training and a retired federal public servant. He is now a full-time writer of short humour and political satire whose work can be found at Dave has been writing op-ed pieces and humorous essays for more than 25 years and his work has appeared on the op-ed pages of most major North American daily newspapers. He is also the author of My Friend W, a collection of his political satire published in 2005 by Arriviste Press; Dare to be Average, a collection of his humour pieces published in 2010 by; Screams & Whispers, a collection of his humour pieces published in 2013 by CreateSpace and King Donald I, a collection of his political satire published in 2016 by CreateSpace. His most recent collection of political satire is entitled Donnie’s First Year and is available on and
What Falls Between Agnostic and Getty

What Falls Between Agnostic and Atheist?

From where I'm sitting, there's a huge yawning gap between agnostic and atheist. Just as any modern religion has a wealth of sects to cover all manner of religious permutations and combinations, those of little or no faith should have a myriad of options, too.
09/21/2014 05:29 EDT
There's More to Being a Sports Fan Than You Scott Halleran via Getty Images

There's More to Being a Sports Fan Than You Think

I know a lot of folks think they're football fans without considering what has to be done to prepare for the upcoming season. For some reason, they think they can just wile away the summer and start their TV football viewing with no preparation. Serious fans, however, know that the key to successful sports viewing is preparation, lots of preparation.
09/08/2014 12:17 EDT
This Is Why Today's Youth Is Peter Dazeley via Getty Images

This Is Why Today's Youth Is Apathetic

If the top dog in the world of finance couldn't figure it out, how is today's 19-year-old supposed to identify what's wrong and go after those at fault? The current situation doesn't lend itself to short, snappy slogans. Instead, he'd have to have a giant sign to carry in a protest march that read something like: "Down with modern financial capitalism or at least have it regulated by a body with some effective oversight and the ability to regulate and curtail new, harmful species of financial investment vehicles.
08/19/2014 09:36 EDT
It's Official -- I'm An RusN via Getty Images

It's Official -- I'm An Anosmiac

It's official. I'm a certified anosmiac. It means that my olfactory ability has disappeared. In short, I can't smell. Unlike the loss of one's vision or the loss of a limb, it's often difficult to pinpoint exactly when a smell-related disability began.
08/10/2014 11:50 EDT
There's a Whole Lot of 'Cracy' in IPGGutenbergUKLtd via Getty Images

There's a Whole Lot of 'Cracy' in Bureaucracy

For the early part of my government "career", I took the "performance review" seriously. I actually thought that it was important to meet or even exceed my goals and that this would lead me to a higher position. Luckily, I eventually figured out that the whole exercise was an elaborate sham. Whether or not you met your goals, or even had goals for that matter, was totally irrelevant.
08/01/2014 08:49 EDT
I Can't Figure Out Why So Many Americans Love Ronald PA/PA Archive

I Can't Figure Out Why So Many Americans Love Ronald Reagan

Reagan should rightfully be honoured as America's father of deregulation but it's hard to see how this designation deserves a reward. Financial deregulation initiated by Reagan helped cause a recession during his first term and was the crucial first step which ultimately led to the global meltdown of 2008.
07/18/2014 12:42 EDT
Fighting the Electronic

Fighting the Electronic Pirates

While my desktop computer sits in the shop, I find myself sitting at the dining room table with an ancient, steam-driven, pre-millennial laptop with its lid propped up by a pile of books, a measure ne...
07/01/2014 02:29 EDT

Dear Quebeckers

Dear Quebeckers: I'm not a political commentator. I don't even play one on TV. Instead, I'm an average Canadian citizen and that's why you may want to hear what I have to say about the current possib...
03/17/2014 04:42 EDT
Mr. MacKay, Can You Protect Us From the Budget Bloomberg via Getty Images

Mr. MacKay, Can You Protect Us From the Budget Bullies?

I'm writing you in hopes that you can step in and stop these three from causing further harm. Is there a group or organization or caucus, say, that you could refer this matter to and come up with a mechanism for stopping these bullies? I'd really appreciate any help you could provide as I'm now even scared to go to my mailbox for fear of what the next letter from the government might bring. Some of my fellow victims are afraid these bullies are going to get meaner and meaner and de-index our pensions or even cut them back. Some are even saying they're going to take away our mailboxes but I can't believe they'd be that cruel.
02/14/2014 05:22 EST
My Complicated Relationship With Sam Yvonne via Getty Images

My Complicated Relationship With MSG

I'm at war with a food additive and it looks like I may be fighting a losing battle. The additive is monosodium glutamate, better known as MSG, and just when I think I've neutralized the enemy, it adopts a new disguise and breaks through my defenses.
02/08/2014 11:45 EST
The Nine Stages of Canadian Telecom Jon Feingersh via Getty Images

The Nine Stages of Canadian Telecom Hell

I was now resigned to my fate. We weren't going to save much money and likely would have fewer channels. My instinct was confirmed when I received my first new Bell bill headed with the words: "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." But I'm no quitter; I'm sure there's a third way out of this telecom hell.
01/15/2014 05:43 EST
Could the Cable T.V. Model Save Online

Could the Cable T.V. Model Save Online News?

The newspaper industry has yet to come to terms with the Internet. With decreasing circulation figures and declining ad revenues, daily papers haven't figured out how to turn a profit from their online readership. There have been numerous attempts at getting online users to pay, few of which have worked.
10/27/2013 08:25 EDT
Why Today's News Outlets Are Like Easily-Distracted Getty

Why Today's News Outlets Are Like Easily-Distracted Canines

How often have you seen a 12-part newspaper investigation into government corruption or an ongoing TV news investigation into fraudulent business practices? They simply don't exist anymore. Now daily papers operate solely on a 24-hour news cycle which leaves no time for pursuing the deeper story.
10/08/2013 05:50 EDT
A Candid Letter to Steve Getty

A Candid Letter to Steve Harper

Dear Steve: Ordinarily, I'm not in the habit of writing to sitting prime ministers. But even I have to pause and wonder what the heck is going on with your gang up there in Ottawa these days. Have you all been starting cocktail hour at lunchtime or smoking all that excess B.C. bud confiscated by the RCMP?
09/19/2013 08:39 EDT
How Tony Clement Is Trying to Ruin My PC

How Tony Clement Is Trying to Ruin My Retirement

Recently, Treasury Board President Tony Clement reportedly floated a trial balloon which would see federal government retirees' annual health insurance premiums double. For my family, that would mean an extra $500 expense -- an amount which will add up to thousands of dollars over my lifetime. I deliberately chose to leave the private sector and join the government based on what was on offer.
09/04/2013 12:23 EDT