Marriage Author-Expert & Educator
Debra Macleod, B.A., LL.B., is an international marriage author-expert and couples mediator. Visit her private practice at DebraMacleod.com.
Ask your date to walk you to your car after dark. Ask your boyfriend to reach that plate on the top shelf, fix your computer or check your leaky faucet. I can hear the snarks from women now. Yet many men long to feel needed in a healthy way in their relationships.
If you're currently dating, do yourself a favour. Keep your eyes on the water's surface and, if anything with big teeth jumps out at you, protect yourself. Even when you're in the earliest stages of dating, it is possible to catch glimpses of deal breaker behaviour. Here are eight to watch out for.
08/12/2014 05:24 EDT
I stumbled upon a story about a husband who, apparently upset with the lack of sex in his marriage, made a spreadsheet that documented how often his wife had sex with him. I've had many clients over the years show me similar lists. Lists like this are made -- and shared on social media -- out of an emotional mixture of frustration, resentment, self- righteousness, a lack of self-restraint and a profound level of immaturity.
07/25/2014 01:06 EDT
The adult temper tantrum is alive and well. Although it takes many unpleasant forms, one of the most common is what I call a "texter tantrum." Not a week goes by that I don't have a client hold up a cell phone and say, "Look at what my partner has been saying to me!"
06/06/2014 05:09 EDT
Happy kids and a happy home hinges on one thing: a happy marriage between Mom and Dad. The quality of a couple's marriage sets the tone for family life. Below are five general qualities to strive for (or avoid, as the case may be). They aren't exhaustive, but they are a good start.
05/28/2014 06:00 EDT
Over the past decade or so, I've found there are a few common pitfalls that women who want to get married inadvertently fall into, and which decrease their chances of getting married while they're still young enough to walk down the aisle without stopping for breath. One of these pitfalls is living together before marriage.
01/30/2014 08:07 EST
If my email inbox is any indicator, it's clear that modern men and women are clueless about how to behave on a first date. If you want to attract a quality person, you need to behave like a quality person. So check out these 1940s-inspired dating tips that might bring a little timeless sophistication to your dating M.O.
12/05/2013 08:02 EST
Since the oil boom of the 1970's, many Alberta wives have called themselves "oil patch widows" due to work rotations that require their husbands to be away for weeks or months at a stretch. It is understandable how this physical separation can lead to an emotional disconnection between two people who are often leading separate lives.
10/31/2013 05:03 EDT
I recently saw a man in my office who asked me why all the women he dated turned out to be "crazy." If all the women you date eventually go off the deep end, perhaps it's time to tune-up your relationship skills. To some extent, I had to agree -- there are some lipsticked loonies out there. Then again, the male gender has its share of jerks and mama's boys. Perhaps it's time to stop pointing fingers at the opposite sex and start engaging in a little self-reflection, especially if you're re-living the same dysfunctional relationship over and over again.
10/11/2013 05:34 EDT
Divorce rates are nasty and too many women find themselves in unhappy, unhealthy marriages. I've compiled a list of eight subjects that, if I found myself Dean of Spouse School, I would recommend as prerequisites to marriage.
05/10/2013 08:03 EDT
Ah, springtime -- the skies are blue and love is in the air. Every year around this time, my Inbox fills with questions from those looking for love. In response, I've compiled a short list of dating tips that you may want to tape to your fridge if you're a single-and-seeking.
04/30/2013 08:19 EDT
M.S. Shadlock's controversial sexual thriller, <em>The Inferno</em>, is about a "sex hotel and casino" in Las Vegas where you gamble with sex, not money. It explores -- among other things -- what happens when couples push the limits of their sexuality in an effort to spice-up their marriages. Would couples really go to a place like this?
04/11/2013 08:22 EDT
People often say that their marriage ended because their spouse had an affair; however, infidelity isn't always the cause of marital breakdown. Usually, it's a symptom of a relationship that is already unhealthy and unhappy in some way. Here are 8 tips to affair-proof your marriage.
04/03/2013 07:55 EDT
Time heals all wounds, right? Wrong. If a couple who has suffered through infidelity does not properly recover and heal from it, time only makes the scar more visible. The wound may even re-open now and then. But if a couple uses time smartly, it can soothe the pain and the scar can begin to fade.
03/03/2013 10:10 EST
Dating and social networking sites provide low-risk, high-excitement ways to connect with strangers and/or reconnect with past friends or lovers. The payoff -- a rush of adrenaline and arousal -- is instantaneous and people often mistakenly believe that they have made an authentic, meaningful connection with someone they have either never met or barely know.
02/21/2013 12:08 EST
Bumps in what should be a smooth road are unavoidable. And as most of us know, sometimes the journey -- even an unexpected and unpleasant one -- can have more to offer in the long-term than the destination. Admittedly, that's going to be a tough sell to the 4,000 passengers on the Triumph. But what about when things go wrong in a marriage?
02/14/2013 05:19 EST
As a couples mediator, I can state with certainty that marriage problems often show up in the bedroom first. For that reason, it's important for a woman to stay sexual. Women often complain that they "don't feel sexy" any more. Weight gain, normal aging and other body changes. If this sounds like you, here are eight steps to go from feeling like a fat cat to purring like a sex kitten.
02/02/2013 12:12 EST
I'm all about staying sexual and attractive post-baby. But I'd like to make a suggestion. Let's leave the MILF acronym where it belongs -- in the domain of teenage boys -- while we adult women (and mothers) grow up and show some class. Here are eight ways to be a MILF with class.
01/24/2013 08:17 EST
If you think your partner is to blame for your relationship troubles, scroll through these 10 signs and ask yourself: Am I turning into the spouse from hell? While this list isn't exhaustive, it does highlight some of the more problematic behaviours that many of us show in marriage. Life's too short for that.
01/09/2013 12:24 EST
As a couples' mediator, I see many women who have stopped having fun in their relationships. This year, I'm going back a couple thousand years to excavate some ancient advice from history's most cunning women, such as Cleopatra. How'd she do it? If it worked for the Queen of Egypt in 41 BC, it may work for you in 2013 AD.
01/02/2013 11:52 EST
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