Kaitlyn Kochany is a recent graduate from the University of Toronto. She has written for Spacing magazine, The Varsity, and blogs at Hipsters Are Boring.
Everyone is talking about Jian Ghomeshi, the disgraced and affronted former host of the CBC's <i>Q</i> and alleged sexual misconductee. There's been a lot of backlash: against Ghomeshi, against the CBC, against his so-far unnamed accusers. So let's get a few things straight.
Being a good partner sometimes means renegotiating communication strategies so that the question "What's wrong?" isn't perpetually sloughed off. It sometimes means breathing through a bad few months and saying, "I accept this, I can do this, I don't have to fight it," even as you keep fighting for the relationship itself.
02/07/2014 08:14 EST
Weirdly, Tetris has given me a way that I can practice going easy on myself. I don't have to maintain a spot on someone else's leader board, or have each game trump my last. I can be more... zen. I can relax. And, much to my surprise, this zen feeling has translated into other areas of my life. And, much to my surprise, this zen feeling has translated into other areas of my life.
10/23/2013 12:22 EDT
As a person who probably has friends, you may be wondering how to get them over to your house without looking like a total creep. You can't just wander up to someone and bark "Come to my house and I''ll feed you seven-layer dip!" because then you look like a lunatic. Play it cool. Make it a party! Ah, but what <em>kind </em>of party?
04/12/2013 08:22 EDT
You've given the media so much to comment on: missteps, mixed messages, leaderless moments in city hall, all topped off with the cherry of antagonism. Of course they don't like you. Your job is to be the face and the leader of the city in which we all live, and sometimes, you're not so good at it. They are very good at their job, which is reporting on you.
09/27/2012 05:04 EDT
I attended a recent dinner party with a friend planning to get pregnant -- and soon. As we were clearing the plates, she asked me, "Do <em>you </em>want kids?" I stammered out an answer. Yes. No. I don't know. I don't want kids <em>right now</em>. She smiled at me sympathetically. "Well, some women just aren't meant to have kids." Hold up. Record scratch. <em>What</em>? I felt like getting pregnant right that moment, out of spite.
07/20/2012 12:11 EDT
Cottaging is a way of life for Canucks. Going to camp, hitting the cabin, swinging by the lake house/beach/what-have-you: it's in our blood. When you decide to make your grand escape, there are some basic summer cottage principles to keep in mind...
05/29/2012 08:20 EDT
<em>Glamour</em> once ran an article called "30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Know by the Time She's 30." Neither section really captures the unbelievable amount of work women in their twenties do as they transform themselves from teenagers to adults. It's a lot. It takes more than a trip to Home Depot or Victoria's Secret.
05/14/2012 07:54 EDT
I like privacy. I like returning calls at my convenience. I've never left my landline in a cab, or dropped it in a bar toilet after too many whiskey sours. I feel zero pressure to upgrade to a fancier handset every year. Like renting movies and tap water, landlines are a call back to a slower and less frenetic time.
04/20/2012 10:20 EDT
Ikea is a wonderland. It's also a hellhole. Let's go together, yes? Wander upstairs. Grab a cart. Feel a creeping sense of despair that the Ikea showrooms are nicer than anything you've ever owned? Hang on to that feeling -- you'll need it when you attempt to put your new dresser together using only Allen keys and curse words.
04/04/2012 10:47 EDT
If you're looking for work this summer, start early. Once you're back from spring break, start looking at job boards and calling old bosses. If you can't start right away, be open about the fact that you're in school -- most bosses don't mind waiting a few weeks for the right candidate to come on board.
03/24/2012 03:26 EDT
I've lived with wonderful people. I've lived with jerks. I've lived with people who have stayed sequestered in their rooms for most of the year, folks who smoked all manner of illicit and ill-smelling substances indoors, and one memorable girl who let her pet rabbit poop all over the kitchen table. I've learned from all of them.
03/08/2012 01:26 EST
In the weeks after my first real heartbreak, I made an effort to spend time with my ex in a misguided attempt to prove that, despite being brutally dumped, I was still awesome. He couldn't care less; he had already started dating someone else. But being around the source of my rage was eating me alive.
02/27/2012 02:49 EST
Few holidays inspire the mixed reaction of Valentine's Day. If you're single, it can be stressful to watch couples get moony with their love together; if you're with someone, panic sets in as you search for the perfect token of your affection. Sidestep the messes by keeping a sense of humour and planning ahead.
02/11/2012 10:27 EST
When the wind is high and the snow is blowing, riding a bicycle seems like an exercise in danger. It takes dedication to look out on a blustery day and say, "It's a great day for a bike ride!" In Canada, we often abandon our bikes once the first snow falls, but with a little planning, it's possible to ride right through winter.
01/24/2012 01:36 EST
People think they need to go directly from one job to the next, but in my experience we all need a little decompression. Have a staycation, go to the movies in the afternoon, sleep in, and get over the fact that you left or lost your job. Grieve a little. It's natural.
01/02/2012 12:02 EST
Every year, it's the same cycle. Maybe this year will be different, we think as the snow gently wafts down around us. Maybe it won't get so cold. Maybe the driveway will shovel itself and we all won't get low-grade colds that get passed around the office. Maybe this year will be different. Obviously, we're kidding ourselves.
12/12/2011 12:25 EST
Weekends are chocolate fudge brownies after a liver-and-onions workweek. They're a massage after a trip to the gym, a cold shower on a hot day. They're a necessity -- after working with people all week long, downtime is a restorative and soothing balm.
11/19/2011 08:56 EST
The zen master in me wants to put on a soothing voice and say that everything happens for a reason, that we learn from our pasts, and that pain can be a teacher. But let's talk instead about the ways of doing it with class; ways that make it hurt less and leave the door open to friendship. Maybe not right away, but eventually.
11/02/2011 01:52 EDT
One of the perks of dating is that you're not exclusive until you say you are. There's no crime in realizing that you're not clicking with someone you're seeing, liking someone else better, or being bored.
10/17/2011 09:03 EDT
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