Marcia Sirota is an author, speaker, coach and psychiatrist. She's the founder of the Ruthless Compassion Institute, whose mandate is to help people have better relationships, be happier and create good habits.
When we're clear about where to find happiness, we can make the kinds of choices that will maximize our chances of having more of it. Here's a list of ingredients that you can combine in your own way to move toward greater happiness.
It's too easy to say that people cheat because they're unhappy in their marriage. I've observed that there are a number of reasons why people cheat, and these have everything to do with the character of the person cheating.
09/29/2011 09:16 EDT
A few pointers on how to go about the scary business of confrontation: Most importantly, start by being affirming. Let your friend know how much you value the relationship, and that this is why you're sharing your concerns.
09/26/2011 01:27 EDT
Maybe some people like to feel superior by laughing at the characters on these shows, but by choosing to waste their time on such drivel, they inadvertently demonstrate their own lack of discernment.
09/21/2011 08:34 EDT
The worst type of advice my patients describe involves dating; the most egregious being that they should "give the guy another chance." Usually this advice comes after one of my patients has gone on one or two dates with someone who's behaved pretty badly.
09/16/2011 07:36 EDT
Your partner has to see and accept you just as you are. There's no point in presenting a "cleaned up" version of yourself because then they're not loving the real you. You can't feel loved if you're being inauthentic.
09/11/2011 06:25 EDT
Kindness emerges from someone who's confident, compassionate and comfortable with themselves. A kind person is loving and giving out of the goodness of their heart. At the root of extreme niceness, however, are feelings of inadequacy and the need to get approval and validation from others.
09/06/2011 05:31 EDT
If you deny the possibility that someone could be hurtful, you put yourself and your loved ones at great risk. Facing this truth, on the other hand, is empowering and will enable you to make the kinds of choices which will give you a better life.
09/02/2011 02:02 EDT
Ellie has a habit of expecting the worst of others, so when she felt that her husband was keeping things from her, it was easy for me to think that she was imagining things. It turns out that Ellie was right. After months of having been labeled as "crazy" and "paranoid" she was finally, albeit sadly, vindicated.
08/29/2011 10:46 EDT
Unlike some politicians who switch parties like some people change their clothes, Jack remained in the NDP knowing that it would be an uphill battle to gain any significant political clout. He watched as other prime ministers came and went, but never stopped believing in his cause.
08/24/2011 09:43 EDT
What makes someone a fantastic lover is not their technical ability or their repertoire of moves but their attentiveness and their efforts to make their partner happy. When both people show that they really care about meeting their partner's needs, sex becomes something wonderful.
08/18/2011 10:34 EDT
No one is perfect or should be expected to be, but there are 10 specific behaviors which are highly likely to ruin your relationship.
08/15/2011 09:03 EDT
It's easy to waste a lot of time and energy trying to deal with certain types of people: narcissists, drama queens and complainers, to name a few. Once you can identify 10 problematic personality types, you'll be able to protect yourself if they happen to walk into your life.
08/11/2011 11:12 EDT
There's no point in going easy on someone when they behave badly in a relationship because when we tolerate disrespect, we give the other person can continue to mistreat us. If men and women were to follow four simple rules, I think that fewer feelings would be hurt and a lot less time would be wasted.
08/10/2011 10:41 EDT
Can a bully learn to be a kind and caring person; to live and let live? The answer is yes, but only if they're able to heal their self-loathing and develop the same self-acceptance that everyone requires.
08/08/2011 10:39 EDT
It's incredibly sad that Amy Winehouse didn't live to see her 30th birthday. Some people are saying that it was inevitable she'd die from her addiction, and while I'm not surprised by this defeatist a...
08/08/2011 09:40 EDT
We as a society are so confused about how to create and maintain good relationships. The Hollywood machine makes everything worse by perpetrating the myths of the big "Aha", and moments of redemption. But in real life, endings are messy and there are misunderstandings abound.
08/05/2011 10:20 EDT
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