Marcia Sirota is an author, speaker, coach and psychiatrist. She's the founder of the Ruthless Compassion Institute, whose mandate is to help people have better relationships, be happier and create good habits.
Instead of getting what they want, the overly nice person will be used, abused and belittled. It's very confusing to them. Often, they think that what's called for is to be more pleasing. Of course, this only increases the persecution they're experiencing.
Just this week, Aritzia, a popular retail clothing business, was called out for racism when one of its Toronto store employees was overheard by a customer making a racist remark. Aside from it being a toxic, terrible mindset, prejudice as a business practice makes no sense.
10/30/2015 02:34 EDT
Instead of trying to get your parents to love and validate you today, you'd be better off facing the truth about them, giving up your futile attempts at winning their love, and focusing your attention instead on developing the self-love and self-confidence that your childhood deprived you of.
10/29/2015 12:26 EDT
When siblings are raised in environments where there's conflict, chaos, rejection or a lack of protection, it has an enormous impact on how they end up relating to each-other in adult life. Over the years, I've seen a lot of patients whose siblings have behaved in strange or hostile ways toward them.
10/28/2015 08:04 EDT
I'm hoping that Mr. Trudeau will surround himself with the best and brightest of the Liberal Party, and with a combination of intelligence, character and willingness to learn, as well as their guidance, he'll grow into the great leader that this country needs and deserves.
10/20/2015 07:51 EDT
I've noticed that often, bosses themselves are intimidated by the bullies in their workforce. They fail to protect those being bullied for fear of how the bully will react. They don't want to get on the bad side of such an aggressive, unreasonable person.
10/19/2015 01:02 EDT
I remember in the fall of 1993, when the Blue Jays last won the World Series, and how the celebrations in the streets went on all night long. Even those of us who weren't die-hard baseball fans were caught up in the thrill of our home team winning the series. We were all proud Torontonians, and we felt the communal aspect of the win. When we watch sports on TV, we can't help but have strong emotions.
10/14/2015 06:00 EDT
Here we are in 2015, and women who go public to accuse men of sexual assault end up being doubly attacked. First, they must deal with the physical and emotional trauma related to their experiences of assault, and second, they must contend with the negative reaction of the public and the ensuing damage to their reputations.
10/14/2015 05:54 EDT
Small business week is here, and it's got me reflecting on my own journey as an entrepreneur. I've learned many lessons along the way. One story stands out as a cautionary tale to anyone who hopes to work in collaboration with other entrepreneurs.
10/13/2015 02:55 EDT
I take voting very seriously and make sure to vote in every election. I'm fortunate that most of the people I'm close to share the same political views as I do. Thinking about this made me wonder, what do you do when your spouse or romantic partner has opposing political views from you?
10/10/2015 10:08 EDT
Canadians and Americans alike love Thanksgiving. It's a time to gather with family and friends and celebrate the harvest season. It's a time to reconnect with people we haven't seen in a while, to eat a delicious meal, relax and enjoy ourselves. Unfortunately, in many families, there are one or two people who can ruin the experience for everyone else.
10/07/2015 12:44 EDT
A first date can be awkward or enjoyable, exciting or boring, amazing or excruciatingly painful. People are simultaneously putting themselves forward and sizing each other up with everything leading toward the one important decision they need to make: whether or not to have a second date.
09/28/2015 05:36 EDT
People who are being harassed by toxic co-workers are an unrecognized cause of lowered productivity in the workplace. Even a well-adjusted, reasonably content, highly productive person who's forced to work, day after day, with a toxic colleague could find that they're not functioning at their usual level.
09/21/2015 03:39 EDT
Anyone who works with other people has had to deal with a difficult co-worker at some point in their career. Whether it's the office brown-noser; the office gossip; the person who steals your ideas and claims them as their own; or the jealous and competitive colleague who tries to sabotage your success -- the most important thing to realize when dealing with people like this is that it's not about you.
09/16/2015 05:05 EDT
Work-life balance is non-existent at Amazon; an 80-plus hour work week is the norm. I imagine that the relentless pace, combined with the stress caused by this ruthless atmosphere, must be wreaking havoc on the mental and physical well-being of these employees.
08/27/2015 12:59 EDT
In this era of being super-connected through our technology, the most shocking thing we can do today is to totally disconnect from another person. It's impossible to know why Charlize chose ghosting as her way of dealing with Sean, or even if that's actually what she did, but it makes me think about the whole idea of making a clean break from someone in a world that's all about connectivity.
08/24/2015 05:21 EDT
If your spouse's name came up on this list of dumped emails, how would you feel? And what would you do? Would you forgive them and try to work on the relationship? Would you ever be able to trust your spouse again?
08/21/2015 05:05 EDT
I've gotten a lot of feedback for my recent post about the addictive quality of Tinder and today's hook-up culture. I wrote it in response to Nancy Jo Sales' article in the September 2015 edition of V...
08/20/2015 04:08 EDT
People say that Tinder is addictive, and I can see why. It provides no joy, no closeness, no meaning. It's superficially stimulating and gives a false promise of fulfillment; just enough to compel the user to repeat the activity over and over again, in the hopes that eventually, they'll find what they're looking for.
08/16/2015 09:51 EDT
We can be so successfully manipulated that we see our guilt as coming from our own conscience, when in reality, we've just been subtly (or not so subtly) coerced to act out someone else's agenda.
08/04/2015 09:02 EDT
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