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Marcia Sirota

Author, speaker, coach and MD

Marcia Sirota is an author, speaker, coach and psychiatrist. She's the founder of the Ruthless Compassion Institute, whose mandate is to help people have better relationships, be happier and create good habits.
It's Time to Lower the Confederate Flag for

It's Time to Lower the Confederate Flag for Good

It's a very bad time for racism in the United States. It would make sense to work toward lowering the level of racial tension in the country, rather than inflaming it. It's one thing to honour the fallen soldiers of the American civil war, but it's another thing altogether to insist on waving a flag that to so many, represents violence, hatred and oppression toward African Americans.
06/24/2015 12:29 EDT
America's Fatal Attraction to Guns Is More Emotional Than

America's Fatal Attraction to Guns Is More Emotional Than Logical

It's clear that despite all the convincing research demonstrating how guns make us less safe, not more safe, Americans are still very much enamoured with their guns. They rationalize, justify and explain away each tragedy, whether an accidental death by a handgun or a mass shooting of innocent people by rifles or automatic weapons. It's not a logical argument; it's an emotional one, and until we can address the complex psychology at the root of the desire to own guns, we aren't going to convince people to give them up.
06/21/2015 08:56 EDT
The Five Fatal Relationship Mistakes That are Keeping You

The Five Fatal Relationship Mistakes That are Keeping You Single

I can think of five fatal relationship mistakes that you might be making today that are probably the reason for your "bad luck" in love. If you want to change your luck in love, check out these five fatal mistakes, see which ones you've been making, and stop doing them.
06/19/2015 03:24 EDT
We Must Let Go of Our Fear of

We Must Let Go of Our Fear of Rejection

Human beings are communal animals. We thrive when we're connected; when we feel a sense of belonging and interdependence. We hate the idea of rejection because it plays on our primal fears of being alone and perhaps unable to fend for ourselves.
06/16/2015 05:41 EDT
What the Duggar Family Teaches Us About Sexual

What the Duggar Family Teaches Us About Sexual Abuse

The truth is, I've never watched the Duggar family on TV. Still, with all the current media coverage, it's impossible not to be aware of the fact that the eldest son Josh has confessed to inappropriate sexual behaviour, as a teenager, toward four of his sisters and a babysitter. I work with victims of sexual abuse every day in my psychotherapy practice, so I feel I have some insight into the subject at hand. Instead of adding to the judgements in favour of or against the family, I thought that it would be a good idea to look for the learning opportunities here.
06/07/2015 09:21 EDT
What Caitlyn Jenner Teaches Us About

What Caitlyn Jenner Teaches Us About Authenticity

Like millions of other people, I've been following the Caitlyn Jenner story over the past several months. What we've been seeing is a person who's lived her entire life with a painful secret. She's saying that at last, she's free to be her authentic self.
06/03/2015 12:20 EDT
Get Rid of Your Inner

Get Rid of Your Inner Bully

There's a lot of bullying going on these days. We find it in schools, in the workplace and on-line. There's one form of bullying that rarely gets talked about though, and it's creating a lot of misery. I'm talking about self-bullying.
05/31/2015 09:14 EDT
Let's Bring an End to Bullying by Choosing to

Let's Bring an End to Bullying by Choosing to #BeKind

I was just watching the video about Sean O'Brien, the #DancingMan, on Yahoo news the other day, and it got me thinking about all the bullying going on these days. It's the cause of so much suffering on the part of the victims, but it's also creating more misery for the bullies themselves.
05/28/2015 07:49 EDT
Are You Too Nice in Your

Are You Too Nice in Your Relationships?

Many of us are convinced that being "nice" is the way to win a friend or a partner and keep them; that if we please this person and give them what they need, they'll love us and stay with us, forever. Well, it doesn't really work that way. When we're "nice," the other person can't know who we really are.
05/26/2015 08:58 EDT
Men, You Can Have Fantastic Relationships With

Men, You Can Have Fantastic Relationships With Women

Fantastic relationships come when we can be equal yet different. When we accept each-other with all our own unique strengths and foibles, gifts and challenges, we can come together and complement one-another.
05/25/2015 07:56 EDT
What Makes a

What Makes a Mother?

Another Mother's Day has come and gone, and it has me reflecting on what it is that makes a mother. In my own life, I've
05/11/2015 12:01 EDT
What Provokes Us to Be Mean to Nice

What Provokes Us to Be Mean to Nice People?

Every human being has occasional dark thoughts, feelings and urges. Most of us can contain these, most of the time. Now and then, our dark side is provoked a bit more strongly, and we end up being not so nice. What provokes the shadow side of our personality to come out?
05/10/2015 11:09 EDT
Why You Should Stop Being Nice and Start Being

Why You Should Stop Being Nice and Start Being Kind

A lot of people are attached to the idea of being "nice." It's not so easy for these individuals to let go of their need to be nice, or to appreciate how different it is from being kind. This distinction is important, however, because these two ways of being lead to very different outcomes in one's personal and professional life.
04/26/2015 10:45 EDT
You Can Become More Confident, Right

You Can Become More Confident, Right Now

Do you wish you were the person who takes a leadership role in the workplace and who is often given roles of greater responsibility by the bosses? Do you want to become the person who is rarely beset by self-doubt, self-criticism, or insecurities about your abilities? It's all possible. You simply need to gain confidence.
04/25/2015 10:04 EDT
Your Problems Persist Because You're Making Bad

Your Problems Persist Because You're Making Bad Choices

In order to get out of the repeating cycle of problematic situations in your life, you need to be making choices from the part of your brain that is logical, practical and reasonable, as opposed to the part that's impulsive, irrational, self-critical and impractical.
04/22/2015 06:29 EDT
It's Time to Stop Being So Nice at

It's Time to Stop Being So Nice at Work

If you've been an overly nice person at work, you should understand that your self-worth can never be improved by trying so hard to please others. You have to learn how to validate and respect yourself, and stop doing so much for your co-workers. When you can focus on making yourself happy, you'll do a better job at work.
04/16/2015 08:41 EDT
What's Really Going on When Celebrities

What's Really Going on When Celebrities Feud

When someone in the public eye chooses to engage in vitriolic attacks on another public figure, it reveals more about him and his character than it does about the supposed shortcomings of the person on the receiving end of the attack.
04/12/2015 01:16 EDT
Canadians Should Stop Being So

Canadians Should Stop Being So Nice

I think it may be time for us Canadians to reconsider our investment in being so nice. We don't have to stop being kind, thoughtful, caring or polite, but we might want to try saying "No" on occasion. We might want to let go of our obsession with making everyone else happy at our own expense. If the fish is overcooked at the fancy restaurant we're eating at, we might actually consider sending it back. If we're put on hold for 20 minutes we might contemplate registering a protest. We might even imagine giving up our compulsion for saying "I'm sorry" at the least possible provocation.
04/03/2015 11:22 EDT
Why It's Sad When Women Say They Oppose

Why It's Sad When Women Say They Oppose Feminism

Perhaps some fearful women will want to hold onto the idea that a man will only want them if he doesn't have to respect them, but hopefully they'll see that it's better to be loved as well as respected by the men in their lives. Feminism is not a dirty word, anymore than love is, or respect, or compassion or consideration.
03/03/2015 05:48 EST