We can be so successfully manipulated that we see our guilt as coming from our own conscience, when in reality, we've just been subtly (or not so subtly) coerced to act out someone else's agenda.
Marcia Sirota is an author, speaker, coach and psychiatrist. She's the founder of the Ruthless Compassion Institute, whose mandate is to help people have better relationships, be happier and create good habits.
I read a story online this week about a six-year-old boy named Jaden Hayes, who lost both his parents and decided to do something positive, rather than give in to his grief. When we're feeling sad or stressed or over-heated, we should remember Jaden Hayes, and be inspired to be our best self rather than our crankiest self.
07/30/2015 01:26 EDT
When I was 25-years-old and early on in my medical training, I got a phone call from my mom one day. With no preamble, she blurted out, "She's gone!" At first, I didn't know who mom was talking about. Then she said the name. It was Esther, my infant niece.
07/29/2015 09:12 EDT
Everyone talks about happiness, and everyone has their own ideas about what will bring us more of it. I think that there are four key principles that together, can create significantly more happiness for ourselves, as well as for those around us.
07/26/2015 07:04 EDT
We make three fundamental mistakes around communication that can really jeopardize an otherwise viable relationship, and there are three important communication skills that can make the difference between an unhappy break-up and an ongoing, happy relationship.
07/23/2015 06:15 EDT
A bad breakup can feel like a stun gun has been applied directly to the center of your chest. You can feel paralyzed, overwhelmed with pain and grief, confused and utterly lost. How does a person cope with such an assault to their emotional world?
07/17/2015 08:12 EDT
The difference between someone who's a victim and someone who's a survivor is the ability to take the crappiest moments in life and turn them into fertilizer. When we can use these painful times as fuel for our personal growth, we can move through any type of difficulty with grace and resilience.
07/16/2015 08:28 EDT
Sometimes, it can be hard to change. We may lack the necessary tools to help us understand our motivations and improve our decision-making process. There are six helpful tools that I would recommend for anyone who wants to make better choices and live a better life.
07/07/2015 12:18 EDT
When I lost someone two years ago, I felt like I was in an altered state of consciousness, swimming through a thick soup of paralyzing emotions, with no idea how long it would last. These four strategies are super simple and enormously helpful, and I want to share them with you.
07/03/2015 07:19 EDT
Summer is here, and many of us will be heading to the beach or attending holiday parties. It's also wedding season, and everyone will want to look their best. Here are five simple tips that will help you get into better shape for summer, and for the long run.
07/02/2015 12:41 EDT
The Pan Am games are coming to Toronto very soon, and it's got me thinking about how someone becomes a world-class athlete. Whether we're into sports, or just wanting to be the best we can be, it might be worth cultivating some of these habits ourselves.
06/30/2015 05:15 EDT
When I heard that the U.S. Supreme Court had finally accorded marriage rights to gay people, it felt like one of those, "Well, yeah!" moments. Here in Canada, same-sex marriage rights have been in pla...
06/27/2015 06:36 EDT
It's a very bad time for racism in the United States. It would make sense to work toward lowering the level of racial tension in the country, rather than inflaming it. It's one thing to honour the fallen soldiers of the American civil war, but it's another thing altogether to insist on waving a flag that to so many, represents violence, hatred and oppression toward African Americans.
06/24/2015 12:29 EDT
It's summer finally and if you're anything like me, you've come out of hibernation and are excited to be getting out there and enjoying everything that summer has to offer. Here in Toronto, we have an...
06/23/2015 02:36 EDT
It's clear that despite all the convincing research demonstrating how guns make us less safe, not more safe, Americans are still very much enamoured with their guns. They rationalize, justify and explain away each tragedy, whether an accidental death by a handgun or a mass shooting of innocent people by rifles or automatic weapons. It's not a logical argument; it's an emotional one, and until we can address the complex psychology at the root of the desire to own guns, we aren't going to convince people to give them up.
06/21/2015 08:56 EDT
I can think of five fatal relationship mistakes that you might be making today that are probably the reason for your "bad luck" in love. If you want to change your luck in love, check out these five fatal mistakes, see which ones you've been making, and stop doing them.
06/19/2015 03:24 EDT
Human beings are communal animals. We thrive when we're connected; when we feel a sense of belonging and interdependence. We hate the idea of rejection because it plays on our primal fears of being alone and perhaps unable to fend for ourselves.
06/16/2015 05:41 EDT
The truth is, I've never watched the Duggar family on TV. Still, with all the current media coverage, it's impossible not to be aware of the fact that the eldest son Josh has confessed to inappropriate sexual behaviour, as a teenager, toward four of his sisters and a babysitter. I work with victims of sexual abuse every day in my psychotherapy practice, so I feel I have some insight into the subject at hand. Instead of adding to the judgements in favour of or against the family, I thought that it would be a good idea to look for the learning opportunities here.
06/07/2015 09:21 EDT
Like millions of other people, I've been following the Caitlyn Jenner story over the past several months. What we've been seeing is a person who's lived her entire life with a painful secret. She's saying that at last, she's free to be her authentic self.
06/03/2015 12:20 EDT
There's a lot of bullying going on these days. We find it in schools, in the workplace and on-line. There's one form of bullying that rarely gets talked about though, and it's creating a lot of misery. I'm talking about self-bullying.
05/31/2015 09:14 EDT
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