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Pega Ren

Sex therapist

Pega Ren holds a master’s degree in Public health and a doctorate in education in sexology. Besides her academic achievements, she has enjoyed teaching in the Women’s Studies and Continuing Education departments at Simon Fraser University, has written and hosted her own TV show on OUT-TV, has been a columnist for Xtra newspaper for the past seven years, and runs a practice in sex and relationship therapy.

You can read her many articles, and learn more about her and the work she does, on her lively website,
Show Your Partner You Love Them (Through

Show Your Partner You Love Them (Through Spanking)

Wishing your lover would take a bit more control in the bedroom? Frustrated by his hesitation to be the boss while you happily submit? Don't know how to bring this up without embarrassment and possible disappointment? You are not alone!
06/15/2016 01:30 EDT
Can I Be a Lesbian and Date a Trans

Can I Be a Lesbian and Date a Trans Man?

As a sex therapist in private practice, I'm asked all sorts of interesting questions on a regular basis. The following touched on sensitive and important issues deserving of being shared with others. Here's the question. Do you agree with my answer?
06/15/2015 12:46 EDT
Catch a Predator? Target

Catch a Predator? Target One!

At UBC, every lone male is a potential attacker, yet it is only women who are being escorted. Why not accompany all single men on campus after dark? Not only does this place responsibility on possible perpetrators rather than on potential victims, but it changes the dynamic completely. What a powerful statement it would be for men to stand in solidarity with female students by walking escorted as well.
11/13/2013 03:42 EST
Why Miley Cyrus Is Actually a Good Role Model for

Why Miley Cyrus Is Actually a Good Role Model for Girls

Miley's performance may have been raunchy, but no one can deny that she seemed to be enjoying flaunting her sexual power and prowess. She would be no man's sexual victim. She modelled for our girls that even a sweet Hannah Montana could grow into a sexually confident young woman who was having a very good time with her sexuality. I think we were maybe too quick to judge...or maybe we judged her so harshly because she reminded us of those fleeting moments when new relationship energy emboldened our own sexual enjoyment, so soon submerged again under layers of shame and fear.
08/29/2013 05:11 EDT
Four Tips For a Passionate Valentine's

Four Tips For a Passionate Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day can be especially tough for couples who have moved past "hot" into "cool" with each other. This is a perfect opportunity to reverse the trend! With Valentine's Day just around the corner, you can maximize the occasion by keeping a few things in mind.
02/11/2013 12:55 EST
Time to Reconsider Those

Time to Reconsider Those Resolutions

Take a second look at your resolutions. Re-evaluate them. Much of the difference hinges on the reason behind our resolution. If we choose a goal from our own heart, we tend to succeed. It's the 'shoulds' that we resist. Break the year long goals into bite sized pieces and don't forget to check off your progress.
01/28/2013 05:09 EST
Do You Need a Sex

Do You Need a Sex Therapist?

When people encounter a physical problem, they often discuss it first with their family physician. Those doctors often refer to specialists who have focused training and expertise. Sex therapists are one of these specialists and here's how they can work in tandem with your doctor.
11/05/2012 12:30 EST
Break Out of Your Duty-Sex Pattern and Have

Break Out of Your Duty-Sex Pattern and Have Fun

I was thinking of all the couples who complain that sex has become duty, and thus has lost its joy. Women particularly chafe at duty-sex, and men wither with performance anxiety. Both thus miss their own potential enjoyment. What is required to reverse this self-defeating behaviour? Let's stop demanding that everything be perfect before we venture forth sexually.
09/07/2012 07:50 EDT
What to Do When Your Young One's

What to Do When Your Young One's "Playing Doctor"

So you walked in on your young kid and a friend "playing doctor." What do you do? First of all, these kids are not perverse -- they're curious. Their motivation in what we consider their sex play is not sexual in adult terms. They want to see and possibly touch, but their aim is to learn the similarities and differences in their anatomies. So. how should you handle the situation?
07/16/2012 12:02 EDT
Depression Has Many

Depression Has Many Faces

<img alt="2012-05-08-mentalhealth1.jpg" src="" width="90" height="81" /style="float: left; margin:10px" > Why is it so difficult to treat depression? Part of the problem is in our definition of the term. In fact, there are two distinct depressions: situational and clinical. It would be so much easier if we called the two depressions by different names, for then we could explain better how we feel and know better what might help.
05/09/2012 08:17 EDT
Balls in Your Court to Keep

Balls in Your Court to Keep Clean

The two major sexual problems that distress men are premature ejaculation (come too soon) and erectile dysfunction (can't get or keep it up). Premature ejaculation is a learned response and responds to treatment whereas erectile dysfunction can have physiological or psychological causes, or a combination of both. We attribute physiological reasons to some 80 percent of cases.
03/09/2012 02:13 EST

Reigniting Romance

You have made love hundreds of times. You no longer wonder what you will discover about each other sexually -- you know it all. Sex is comfortable, predictable, soothing, and quite possibly infrequent. How do you get from zero to sixty without the numbers in between that the romance of old used to fill? You long for the passion, the romance, the fire of your early days together. You wish you knew how to recapture that magic. Is it possible? Yes, it is, with some conditions.
02/14/2012 02:58 EST
What's Your Anger

What's Your Anger Style?

I think people are defined by two distinct and diverse anger styles: the shouters and the sulkers. How can a shouter live harmoniously with a sulker? Understanding the different expressive styles helps, as does agreement about how to fight constructively.
02/08/2012 05:04 EST
Therapy: Can You Handle the Honest

Therapy: Can You Handle the Honest Truth?

I remember being careful with my clients, forming my questions and responses so as not to challenge them. But sometimes, after a session, I felt rather inauthentic. I knew that what I was thinking and what I was speaking were offset by "niceness."
01/13/2012 09:54 EST
Saving it for a Special Occassion?

Saving it for a Special Occassion? Don't!

How is it that we so easily deny ourselves kindnesses and pleasures because we underrate the value of the occasion, or our own value? I've caught myself buying such tiny treats as scented soaps, and then storing them in the closet for when guests arrive. Why do I hesitate to give myself the pleasure?
12/22/2011 03:30 EST
Why Doesn't Anyone Date

Why Doesn't Anyone Date Anymore?

Why are we so quick to abandon the freedom of choice dating offers, replacing it instead with lightning-quick courtships and instant sexual exclusivity?
10/07/2011 09:06 EDT