Wendy Litner is a lawyer-turned-writer who elevates anxiety to an art form. You can read more of her musings at her blog, www.SadintheCity.com. An infertility sufferer, Wendy has written and created a web series, promoting infertility narratives. Check it out on Twitter @howtobuyababy
Despite my deep longing to be a mother, I am somehow feeling more resigned now as we wait to hear the verdict of our fourth cycle. I feel much less desperate, much less crazed about it working. Because chances are it didn't, no matter how hard I wish it did. My hope feels irrelevant and in relinquishing it I feel more prepared this time. I am steeling myself off, encasing my heart, bracing myself for bad news.
The hormones are making me, well, hormonal. I'm crampy. My ass hurts. I have a headache that no amount of Tylenol will touch and just generally feel like I have a really bad flu.. am completely beside myself with emotion.... I feel like time is just ticking away here, as I lie on the bathroom floor in a nauseous, weeping heap worrying how the baby I'm not pregnant with is going to affect the writing career I don't have.
03/11/2016 04:21 EST
It's a universal truth that when you are trying to get pregnant everyone but you is pregnant. Men are pregnant. The elderly are pregnant. Woman with IUDs are pregnant. Britney Spears is pregnant with Miley Cyrus' baby. Everyone in the world, but you, is pregnant
09/25/2014 05:19 EDT
It occurred to me, recently, that I can't remember when I first started anti-depressants. Was I on pills at my Bat-Mitzvah? Did I take one the morning of my Grade 10 biology exam? I don't know. I have been in a relationship with drugs for so long that I can no longer recall our first date.
06/28/2012 05:16 EDT
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