01/19/2017 11:04 EST | Updated 01/19/2017 11:06 EST

Why I Won't Let The Negative Absorb The Positives In Life


I have said this many times over the past few years, including my TEDxTalk Stouffville -- that everyone has a story. It might be a good one or it might be a tragically sad one, but it is still a story. Also, all stories have emotions connected to them but we may never know what the people behind the stories feel or think or want.

I have also learned in the past few years that there are sometimes others that use their stories to bring out the worst in themselves and how they feel can often be directed towards others in a not so positive way.

What I do feel is sadness for those that thrive out of making others feel scared, miserable and less worthy of the person that they deserve to be.

In the past few days, I have been contacted by media because of my recent decision to attend the trial in the Netherlands related to the other victims of a man who is also allegedly accused of victimizing my daughter. I have been judged (or misjudged) by comments on posted articles with both positives and negatives.

The bravery of the keyboard brings out comments that would never be said face to face to a person. The question we always face includes 'Is this something to ignore?'or 'Does one just walk away and say nothing?' Sometimes the negatives absorb more than the positives.

Many often question what the real "mission" is and just recently, someone on one of my social media walls said this: "These sad comments are just validating the need for the work that you are doing." I know that I am not out for revenge or for hate. What I do feel is sadness for those that thrive out of making others feel scared, miserable and less worthy of the person that they deserve to be.

Here is a story that was shared on my personal Facebook tonight:

"There was a creative writing professor at a collage in Texas that gave his students an assignment he told them to write a page about the picture on the page that he was about to hand out but when he handed out the pages all that was on the page was a little black dot in the middle of the page the students were confused but they went home and came back the next day and handed in their assignment and when the professor read them they were all about the where the dot was aligned on the page and how small the dot was.

Then he told them the assignment was to help give a life lesson: you all only focused on the dark spot on the paper, you paid no attention to the white all around the dark spot. In life too many people pay attention to the dark spots in their life and very little attention to the good things.

We are so focused on the bad things and the bad people in our lives when the good things happen to us we enjoy them for a moment and then refocus on the bad things. When we meet a bad person that says and does bad things to us we focus on them and the hundreds of good people we have met we can't enjoy because we're focused on the bad. I say forget the bad things and forget the bad people live your life for the good things and surround yourself with good people and it will make you a better person."

I was asked by a journalist if I ever see the white or do I only see the black. Thinking about this question, I had to answer that yes, although I so see the black dot, I also see lots of white and colour on a page. I see colourful dots that move around the black dot in hopes of making change, bring on a movement and just swirling around freely with no barriers. The black dot (which may be the negative comment(s), which abound, but it doesn't get me down because the colourful spots lift me up (which is the positivity of life). This is how we can learn resilience and overcome those dark moments.


We know that it takes more brain power to create positive thoughts and comments. Humans are using parts of their brain which facilitate the strengthening of logical reasoning and social emotions. This hopefully equates to more positivity and a transference to being kinder to others and being someone who stands up for others. The mission of Amanda's Legacy is for others is to share positivity, which will in turn bring about more hope, more strength and ultimately, greater resilience against the negatives of the world.

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