For many of us, we enter into relationships expecting others to satisfy our needs and fulfill our deepest desires. And many times we wind up brokenhearted and alone. Why? Because it's no one's job to make us happy, we must be there for ourselves.
The key to attracting love is to treat others and ourselves the way we wish to be treated. Whatever qualities we see in others are a reflection of the qualities we see within ourselves. There are three ways to attract love, and before we can attract love, we must be open and available to all three: accepting love, believing in love and receiving love.
Attracting love begins by accepting who we are and loving ourselves. Whether we are in a relationship or alone, we will always attract more love when we begin and end with a healthy love of SELF. The relationships we are in or the people we're attracting are at our same level of physical, emotional and mental health. We attract who we are. Therefore if we wish to attract a happy, healthy, loving partner, we should be happy, healthy, loving partners first. Self-love is the platform each of us must stand upon in order to build healthy, loving relationships for ourselves and with others. And this can only be done when we begin by accepting and acknowledging the love we have within.
Believe In Love
If we want to attract love we must begin by believing in ourselves. We must be willing to let go of negative self-talk and limiting beliefs -- replacing them with inspiring thoughts and uplifting affirmations. For some, this may seem monotonous or meaningless, but it works.
Believing that we are undeserving of love or unlovable does not serve us. Instead of accepting this as our truth, let us explore the opposing views we have surrounding love, face them and begin to change those beliefs. It's been stated that a prolonged thought has a frequency, and that our thoughts do become things. However our thoughts are not necessarily truths, and though a prolonged thought does manifest into "be-ING," it certainly isn't fixed. Each of us has the power to change our beliefs, and by changing the thoughts we have surrounding love we create a new mindset that is open and available to love.
Many of us have been conditioned to believe that loving ourselves is a form of conceit. Some of us even think that it is wrong to think highly of ourselves or expect others to think highly of us. These limiting beliefs are the reasons why we some don't feel comfortable openly receiving compliments, or expressions of love. Your soul mate, whether or not you've already met, will be one of many people who love you. If you want to attract love then practice receiving love from someone in your life, and by keeping an open heart to love.
We do not attract into our lives whom we want. We attract who we are. When we are coming from a holistic state of being: loving everything, everyone, and ourselves, we draw people, circumstances and opportunities that attract the love and the life we want to see.
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A just-published study
published in the Journal of Clinical Oncology
suggests that marriage may help improve cancer survival rates. According to the findings, men and women who were married were about 20 percent less likely to die of cancer during the three-year study period, regardless of how advanced the disease was (although it's worth noting that the benefits appeared to be stronger for men).
The "why" isn't clear, and the study does not establish cause and effect, but researchers hypothesize that having someone who cares for you and who helps you understand your diagnosis might be behind the connection. And it's not the first study to show a link; a paper published in November 2012
found that socially isolated women were more likely to die of breast cancer than their counterparts with close social ties.
Last spring, the same researchers who looked at how social ties may influence breast cancer survival published a study that found that breast cancer patients who regularly have positive social interactions -- and who have strong support overall -- are better able to deal with the associated emotional stress and pain of cancer
. "Social support helps with physical symptoms," study researcher Candyce Kroenke, an investigator with Kaiser Permanent's Division of Research said in a statement
As Time reports
, a 2011 study that followed a group of more than 1,000 older adults, (whose average age was roughly 80) found that the most social seniors had a 70 percent reduction in their rates of cognitive decline over several years, versus their least social counterparts. According to Time,
the same team of researchers previously found that sociability also decreased the likelihood of becoming physically disabled.
A 2010 review of roughly 150 studies measuring the frequency of human interaction and health outcomes, found that having strong social connections can improve a person's odds of survival by 50 percent. Conversely, so-called "low social interaction" was found to be more harmful than not exercising, twice as harmful as obesity, and the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day Psych Central reported
. Why? “When someone is connected to a group and feels responsibility for other people, that sense of purpose and meaning translates to taking better care of themselves and taking fewer risks,” one of the study authors told that publication.
When it comes to relationships and weight, the overall picture is a bit complicated: Some studies suggest that women are likely to gain weight after getting married
. But as The Daily News
reports, a 2012 study found that friendships can influence weight in more positive ways. High school students were more likely to lose weight, or gain it at a slower rate, if they had a slimmer group of friends. However, that same study also found the opposite to be true: students with friends heavier than they were were more likely to gain weight.
What we take away from this is that surrounding yourself with people who have healthy lifestyle habits can help you emulate them. Worry less about how small or large your waistline is, and more about using your social connections to motivate yourself to exercise and eat well.
A BabyCenter poll
of more than 20,000 moms found that once women entered into motherhood, 83 percent said they ate more healthfully, or were trying to improve their diets, while 65 percent said they were exercising more (or planned to) and 69 percent said they were keeping a closer eye on their mental health. That last one is extremely important, as motherhood can also have negative effects on women's mental health, namely, through postpartum depression. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
, between 8 and 19 percent of women report experiencing frequent postpartum depression symptoms.
As LiveScience reports,
a preliminary study presented last August found a link between marriage and reduced cardiovascular risk factors, like high blood pressure, among women specifically. And the longer the marriage, the bigger the benefits appeared to be: Every 10 years of continuous marriage was tied to a 13 percent decrease in cardiovascular risk, LiveScience explains