04/16/2015 12:54 EDT | Updated 06/16/2015 05:59 EDT

The 6 C's For A Healthy Relationship

Some people go their entire lives not knowing what a healthy relationship looks like, or they may have an idea, but have not defined them for themselves. The Six C's illustrate the various components of a healthy relationship. Please review:


Effective communication may be the key to long-term success in a relationship, and good communication takes practice. Some things to remember when striving for open communication are:

  • Honesty
  • Thinking before speaking
  • Open-mindedness
  • Active listening
  • Willingness to see alternative points of view


Compromise requires the concept of give-and-take. Whereas each individual is free to express his or her point of view, openly and equally. After which they reach a decision based on reasoning and negotiating for both parties. If you do not care enough about your partner or about the relationship to compromise, there can be no effective communication. Some things to consider when striving for compromise within a relationship:

  • A willingness to reach a consensus
  • Active listening by both partners
  • Practice in the art of negotiation


Commitment is more than being in an exclusive relationship. It is an integral part of a healthy relationship that involves a mutually agreed upon, and a willingness between both parties to commit.


While opposites sometimes attract, it may not lead to a lasting bond and may cause conflict in the relationship. One of the most important ingredients of a successful relationship is that of having something in common with your partner. Compatibility suggests that the more people have in common, the fewer opportunities there are for conflict.

Consideration [respect]

A good relationship cannot exist without mutual respect. The word "respect" gets thrown around casually in conversation and discussions -- "disrespect," "self-respect," etc.

In the context of a relationship, proper respect has four key elements: attention, honor/esteem, valuing, and appropriate conduct.

When we respect someone we acknowledge his/her claim for our attention. It also demonstrates the love and consideration we have for the other persons needs.


Conduct that is appropriate to mutual respect follows naturally from the elements that we have already discussed. When you honor and value the existence of the other person in your life, putting aside your selfishness to take care of your partner, and your partner does the same for you -- it follows that both of you will be happy and taken care of.

In summary, a healthy relationship is one in which:

  • Individuals respect each other completely.
  • Individuals give, receive and compromise in equal parts.
  • Individuals value one another and allow each other to be themselves without trying to change that individual.
  • Individuals support and encourage one another's goals and ambitions.
  • Individuals trust each other and learn to recognize jealous or controlling feelings so that they can work through these feelings in a healthy manner.
  • Individuals communicate openly and honestly, and both parties feel safe in expressing themselves.
  • Individuals share responsibility in decision-making.
  • Individuals encourage each other to have friends and activities outside of the relationship.
  • Individuals are free to be themselves within the relationship.

Collette Gee is a Certified Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner, a Violence Prevention Specialist and a Matchmaker, and Holistic Relationship Coach that helps men and women create and sustain healthy relationship patterns and behaviors. Learn more about Collette Gee


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