With Valentine's Day right around the corner single people start to contemplate whether they will ever meet someone they can really connect with.
One thing that keeps single people in the dating game hopeful is the belief that there really is someone for everyone. It's optimistic to believe there really is someone for everyone, particularly because it may or may not be necessarily true.
For example, depending on the type of connection you're looking for, that type of relationship may be hard to come by. For instance, I offer matchmaking services to some of the clients I work with, and often they ask me to find them a match with specific qualities: tall or short, thin or fit, wealthy or adventurous, funny or compassionate.
While many of my clients have what it takes to attract the type of person they want to meet, they fail to take into consideration that the person they're looking for may not be looking for them. Why? Because not all people are looking for the same connection.
As humans we share an innate desire to connect with others. However, not all people seek to connect for the same reasons, or in the same way. Some people choose to connect a little. While some people need to connect a lot.
For instance, a person who only needs a little connection may feel more comfortable having a one-night stand, whereas a person who feels the need to meet someone special and settles down has a strong need to connect.
Some people are looking for the easiest of all relationship connections: the one-night stand. Just about any decent-looking person can engage in a one-night stand. One-night stands are usually for people who have an "itch," so to speak, that needs to be scratched.
People who are looking for a one-night stand usually find them by getting dressed up and hitting some of the more popular venues otherwise known as "meat markets." There are usually tons of other people just like them who are looking for a very minimal connection, which may include only a few minutes or a few hours of physical intimacy to share with someone else.
The downside of a one-night stand is that it tends to turns out to be far less fulfilling than they anticipated, and usually leaves the person feeling more alone. For people who really don't require a connection, it does the trick -- that is, until the next itch.
Another type of relationship connection is one that is pretty simple, yet not as disconnected as a one-night stand: a casual connection. Dating with casual sex is like a one night stand with someone you date, but without a commitment from either party.
People who opt to date with casual sex may in fact like each other and find each other attractive, however neither party takes the attraction outside the bedroom. In some way dating with casual sex sounds a lot like the beginning stages of a committed relationship. However, people don't usually end up being anymore than a friend with sexual benefits.
For people who need a little more of a connection than a one-night stand, this works -- usually until one person begins to develop a deeper connection than the other person has for them.
Exclusive Partner Connection
The next type of relationship connection is the exclusive partner connection. In such a situation, a couple may be in love and live together, but neither party has any plans to marry the other. In this type of relationship, the couple is either monogamous or has an open relationship.
In more recent times, this is becoming very popular, and for many reasons. First, because more people don't feel the need to get married to show how committed they are in a relationship. The other reason because of the high divorce rate people are serious about protecting their personal and financial interest.
This type of relationship usually works well until one person feels the needs to secure the connection and merge the assets through marriage.
Next, is the traditional marriage connection. In it, a couple falls in love and decides to actually get married to seal their connection. This type of relationship requires the most work because allegedly there is a deeper connection and a lot more at stake.
In a marriage, two people are committed to one another and make some pretty strong promises to each other in the process. They're promising not to have one-night stands or casual sex with other people; to stay committed through the good times and the hard times, and all "till death do them part."
This type of connection is the ultimate goal for lots of singles. Though it is the hardest to attain, it CAN be done. This type of relationship works well unless the connection is broken by one or both partners.
The Trial Connection
The last and final type of relationship connection is not a very common one: the trial relationship. In this type of relationship a ceremony is performed to bind a couple together for a certain time period, usually one year. During that time, the couple behaves like a traditional married couple who are deeply connected and committed to each other.
At the end of one year, if they were able to make it work, they marry. On the other hand, if during the trial period the relationship connection was lost, each person moves on peacefully. Another term for this type of relationship is an engagement, whereas they make a commitment to get married, and only do if during the engagement period they stayed connected. This type of relationship connection works well, that is until someone decides to call it quits after a year long engagement.
To conclude, there may really be someone for everyone out there. However, it just depends on what type of connection you're looking for.
Collette Gee is a Relationship Specialist, Coach and Matchmaker that helps men and women love harmoniously and successfully. Click To Learn more about Collette Gee.
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