10/24/2016 04:50 EDT | Updated 10/24/2016 05:06 EDT

Raise Your Relationship From The Dead With A Very Sexy Halloween

Izabela Habur via Getty Images

Here's a question for you ladies -- all of you ladies, whether you're divorced, single or partnered: When was the last time you took the time to really sexy yourself up?

I don't mean "look pretty." I mean SEXY. I mean wearing the kind of outfit and undergarments that make you half-giggle (for the audacity), and tingle from head to toe with mischief.

With Halloween just around the corner, let me remind you all -- men and women alike -- that it's the perfect occasion and excuse to ignite some fire into your confidence and/or the bedroom. And guys (nudge nudge) -- if things have been a little sexually "lacking" or "boring" with your partner as of late, you should read this article and take notes.

But first, let me ask when was the last time either of you went to a costume shop and tried on different outfits? And I don't mean "cute" couple costumes like a Ghostbuster-and-marshmallow ghost duo. Contrary to what you may think, regardless of your body type, there is a wide array of incredibly sexy attire to choose from. Seriously -- when was the last time you even tried... or have you ever?

You are denying yourself one of the powerful delights of being a woman.

Oftentimes as women we forget -- or never allow ourselves -- to discover or own that sexy bad girl/vixen part of ourselves. I know firsthand many of the reasons and excuses we use to sidestep it: Life is busy. We're tired, too fat, not in the mood. It's not important or inappropriate, it's too silly or too much work.

But ladies, if you've never worn a pair of lacy stockings or a high-end corset or a wicked pair of stilettos, you are denying yourself one of the powerful delights of being a woman. And despite whatever body insecurities you may have, all your man is going to think when he sees you is that he's died and gone to heaven.

Now obviously, if you're planning to attend a party, what you wear will depend on the venue (do I even have to say this?). Modifications should be made in the name of good taste (and reputation). But this doesn't mean you need to dress up like a goddamn doughnut, either. I mean, c'mon -- unless, of course, your partner knows there's something "super scrumptious" underneath that costume for "later."

I swear you'll stand differently, hold yourself differently, and look and feel fantastic.

Another idea is to use Halloween to try out a completely new venue, like a sex club. Yes, you could wear that corset and black leather miniskirt and not stand out at all -- you will, however, if you dress like a goddamn doughnut! You could also very easily wear a mask... and,no, you don't have to actually participate in any "activities" if you don't want to.

Alternatively, you could create your own party at home -- with a roleplay scenario just for two. Nurse/doctor, secretary/boss, school girl/teacher, superhero/villain, cleaning maid/businessman... doesn't this sound more entertaining than binge-eating candy and watching Carrie?

Sound like too much work? Are excuses flooding your brain already? Ladies, I'd recommend that you stop with your to-do list, commit to making the effort and try on a half-dozen costumes before you rule this out. I swear you won't even feel like the same person; you'll stand differently, hold yourself differently, and look and feel fantastic.

And gentlemen, I can not emphasize enough that for a woman, feeling "pretty" doesn't necessarily mean feeling "sexy" (translate: "in the mood"). A woman feeling sexy has to come from within -- the female brain needs to anticipate; be massaged, titillated and to wonder... Now is the time to get her "wondering."

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