05/12/2016 11:06 EDT | Updated 05/13/2017 05:12 EDT

Sorry, Jian: You're Not Sorry

Todd Korol via Getty Images
TORONTO, ON - FEBRUARY 1 Jian Ghomeshi arrives at court during the first day of his trail in Toronto, Ontario. (Todd Korol/Toronto Star via Getty Images)

So, according to Ghomeshi's "apology" to the woman he sexually harassed and assaulted at work, he didn't know that making rude sexual comments and advances to an employee was wrong?

What a load of BS. I've been on numerous porn sets (in a professional media capacity, not as a performer) where men and women are walking around naked & having sex is part of their job, and even still there is a clear understanding of consent and respecting co-workers.

"Any idiot knows dry-humping staff is a no-no, and Ghomeshi is a lot of things, but he isn't an idiot."

In short, guys who literally walk around with their dicks hanging out have a better sense of basic workplace decency than Jian Ghomeshi did. Or claims to have had.

There's a wise old saying passed down in ancient Sumerian writings: "Don't piss in my ear and tell me it's raining."

Any idiot knows dry-humping staff is a no-no, and Ghomeshi is a lot of things, but he isn't an idiot.

What, was he sat in a chair like Clockwork Orange and inundated with episodes of Mad Men?

Ghomeshi was a left-wing women's-rights advocate, he had to know that the actions and comments he engaged in were inappropriate -- he just didn't think that applied to him. Because, you know, he doth bestride the narrow Canadian media world like a Colossus.

Yes, that was Shakespeare. Just because I love Manimal doesn't mean I don't know culture.

Some Ghomeshi apologists (hey, some women mail love letters to serial killers; don't ask me to figure people out) on Twitter are trying to blame the CBC for a workplace culture that allowed Ghomeshi's harassment to go on. And some blame the media in general for blowing so much smoke up Ghomeshi's ass that he got high on himself.

In the words of Canadian rapper Jelleestone from one of my old Smartass specials on Much -- "Yeah... and no."

CBC's put on the hair-shirt for their failure to call Ghomeshi on the carpet. They've taken steps to correct their errors. No use beating on them endlessly.

Can't blame the general Canadian media for making Ghomeshi into a demi-god (though he'd probably object to the word 'demi'). Their love affair with that jackass only stands-out because of the Canadian media's functional inability or unwillingness to elevate ALL our TV stars the way other countries do with their media personalities. Unless they're on a U.S. TV show.

"Even in a workplace with a hot tub, people know how to behave respectfully. Ghomeshi had the option to set a professional tone and chose not to."

None of that matters. Before the castrating of Canadian media outlets and the pathetic entropy effect on the industry, I had as much, or arguably more, profile than Ghomeshi did. Enough to have made me into a Canadian icon (that's what people call me, not what I say into the mirror every morning).

Furthermore, I shot comedy segments with porn stars on porn sets. My studio had go-go dancers in sexy costumes and a hot tub where frequently topless women pwned overwhelmed, frequently speechless men. So you could say I was the star in a sexually charged workplace.

But my team, of which all those women were a part, never had to endure unwanted sexual advances or comments or harassment, because everyone, in whatever manner of dress, was treated like an entertainment professional doing a job. Bikinis or go-go outfits were no different than a banker's suit and tie or doctor's white coat -- wardrobes professionals wear for work.

And that attitude started at the top, with me.

(Note for radfems: Don't confuse the on-camera innuendo crap between me and the ladies with what went on backstage. On-camera was a comedic give-and-take where the ladies often gave more than they took. So, shut up with your lunatic ravings about my misogyny.)

My point is not to pat myself on the back, but to show that even in a workplace with a hot tub, people know how to behave respectfully. Ghomeshi had the option to set a professional tone and chose not to.

It was a choice, not ignorance. Intense narcissism is no excuse for wilful ignorance.

If Ghomeshi had admitted that he knew what he did was wrong, and did it anyway, and was sorry, that's an apology. A self-serving apology that to me still means that he's sorry he got caught more than any genuine remorse, but still, an apology.

But this business about needing 18 months to figure out that rubbing his crotch on a staff member's ass and talking about "hate-fucking" her was wrong? Sorry, just another dodge from the Prince of Special Snowflakes. Same mindset that convinced him that hitting or choking women was basic dating etiquette.

In other words, Ghomeshi can shove his apology up his ass, if he can find room there next to his head.


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