I write a lot about authenticity, and I promote it whenever possible. It's one of the things I value most, and I believe living authentically is an integral part of creating a life that is fulfilling and true to you. I've written about using it to build your personal brand. I've even written columns on how to live an authentic life. But what does "authenticity" actually mean? How do you KNOW if what you're doing or thinking or feeling is truly authentic? How would someone define "authentic" anyway?
Well, the Oxford dictionary says authenticity is "the quality of being authentic" and that authentic means something is genuine, of "undisputed origin" and not a copy. Hmm...still pretty vague. But if you read further, the dictionary provides another definition of the word which speaks a lot clearer to me:
"Relating to or denoting an emotionally appropriate, significant, purposive, and responsible mode of human life."
THAT is what authenticity means to me. It's about being truly present and connected to life in an honourable way. To be committed to the continuous process of honest self-discovery. And, it's that genuine state of being where what you think, say and do are harmoniously aligned.
The other day someone asked me how I know when something or someone is authentic, and here are my thoughts on the matter:
Authenticity keeps you real.
When you live authentically, you feel connected to your soul, to your past, present and future. It makes you feel like you're honestly living your destiny, what your purpose here on earth is. And that can be a really grounding feeling.
It's a gut reaction.
When something is not authentic or just not the right fit for who you are, you'll feel it in your gut. Because authenticity is about being connected with your true self, you're more in tune with your instincts and with your heart. Have you ever been in a situation where an opportunity -- on the surface -- seems too good to be true, but deep down you just KNOW it's wrong? That's your authenticity reacting. Or maybe you met someone who isn't your "usual" type but for some reason you feel so happy together, that's also your authentic self just letting you know it's right. You can physically FEEL it. It's your internal GPS!
To be authentic is to be true.
With all the white noise around us, from social media especially, it can easily make you question your decisions or even question your personal brand. I believe the way to handle these "speed bumps" along your life path is to stay grounded in your own authenticity by ACTING on your truth. Get to know who your true self is through honest self-discovery, identifying your strengths and your weaknesses, learn what makes you unique. Then always return to this truth in times of uncertainty. It is there that you will find your authentic self.
It gives you courage.
Sometimes we make decisions in life because we are afraid, we do the wrong thing or maybe we do nothing when we should have done something, we are scared of the outcome and so we hesitate. Authenticity helps you be brave. It comes from an honest place where there is no fear, just truth. Centralizing yourself in this core of truth gives you a feeling of contentment, a genuine feeling of peace. You're no longer fearful, you're no longer jealous -- you become more courageous to make the "right" decisions. You're honestly happy for those around you because you know you're living the most authentic life you can for YOU.
When it's not authentic, it just doesn't fit.
When someone isn't living authentically, it affects their self-esteem and their happiness. It's almost like a puzzle piece not fitting together; you can't build the full picture until the first few pieces fit. You're grumpier than usual, judgmental, blaming. You're not living up to your potential and you might start to feel envious and jealous of other people's success. But, once you do start living authentically, you will see those negatives turn around because you're looking at them differently. Living authentically has as much to do with how you react to things as it does with what happens to you.
Authenticity creates kindness.
When you're genuinely happy for other people, and you're grounded in your own honest content, you are more likely to act with kindness to those less fortunate around you. You want to help other people discover their own authentic selves, to feel similar contentment. I should point out that living authentically is not necessarily the same as feeling bliss, it does not mean you will always be happy. It does mean, however, that even when you are feeling pain and going through a difficult time, you will come out the other end stronger and fully understanding what you learned from that situation. Living authentically helps you focus on what truly matters.
You can recharge your authenticity in simple ways.
Sometimes it's the little things that can ground us in this crazy world, and bring us back to our authentic selves. Whether it's a special song, a warm bath, a favourite fragrance, we all have those simple ways of getting us back to feeling like ourselves. For me, it's being in nature and spending time alone. There is a great quote I read recently by Goethe in The Artist's Way, "Talent develops in quiet places; character in the full current of human life." It's true; we need both internal reflection and external action in order to be whole. I am an introvert living an extrovert's life; it's imperative for me to have alone time. Get to know what recharges your authentic self, and make time for it. Self-care is integral to sustaining integrity and authenticity.
I truly believe living authentically gives you the freedom to love freely, live with purpose and give without expecting anything in return. I would love to know what authenticity means to you! How do you define it? And how do you know you're living authentically? Share your stories below or tweet me at @NatashaNKPR :)
xo
Natasha