Let’s never forget that the Grammys once gave the Best Rap Album award to Macklemore, so they aren’t necessarily known for their flawless judgment. But one of the more confounding moments from Sunday night’s ceremony included Camila Cabello singing a song called, “First Man” directly to her father, complete with hand holding, kissing and crying, and cementing her spot in the extremely bizarre genre of father/daughter love songs.
Of course a loving, healthy and supportive relationship with your father is a wonderful thing that should be celebrated. But the idea that a boyfriend or husband figure effectively replaces a dad is badly outdated — and yet widely accepted, and celebrated at father/daughter dances at many a cringe-y hetero wedding the world over. (Have you ever listened to the lyrics to “Butterfly Kisses?” Yikes.)
“First Man” takes that same approach.
Watch: Camila Cabello vows to accept a Grammy in her underwear. Story continues after video.
“Yes, I’m gonna stay with him tonight / I’ll see you in the morning,” the song begins, letting the song’s dad mourn the time his daughter used to sleep under his roof. Alas, no longer!
Later, the song draws a direct parallel between the way the song’s speaker was held by her dad as a baby and the way she’s held by her lover as an adult. “You held me so tight, now someone else can / But you were the first man that really loved me.”
Again, it’s great to love your dad! But if, like us, you’re a little weirded out by the parallel, perhaps you’ll also enjoy the following tweet by writer and podcaster Louis Virtel, which puts forward a more realistic “dedicated to Dad” song.
Inspired by his example, we decided to put together a list of the some of the songs we might sing to our dads.
- “You’re pronouncing that pop singer’s name wrong”
- “You’re wrong about politics, but I still love you”
- “It’s very generous that you offered to buy me that book, but please can I give you a few dollars to buy the second-cheapest version rather than the cheapest, because I’d really prefer the Marie Antoinette biography that doesn’t have Kirsten Dunst’s face on it?”
- “Can you please just tell me what you want for your birthday? You’re too hard to shop for.”
- “I promise I’ll do the dishes when I get home, OK?! Do I really need to do them the second I finish eating? Can’t I live?!”
- “You’re wrong about that TV show”
- “Father, I beg you, stop dancing”
- “Papa, don’t preach (and please stop using that youth slang)”
- “I don’t feel like like mowing the lawn”
- “I appreciate your knowledge of military history. I mean that sincerely, I know I get on your case a lot, but it was actually really helpful and I know more about The Second World War now”
- “You’re actually way more wrong about politics than I initially thought”
If you’re reading, Dad, thanks for everything. Maybe you could tone down the dancing, though.
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