As Canadians, weāre always proud of our own when they make it big stateside. And by make it big, of course we mean: get so rich they can afford to make their own liquor.
While a surprising number of famous people have their own booze brands, from GĆ©rard DĆ©pardieuās Pinot Noir to Marilyn Mansonās āMansinthe,ā there are only a handful of Canadians who do the same. So, with Canada Day coming up, we figured ā why not give them a try?
Given the holiday weekend, our criteria rested on whether the booze in question made sense to bring to a summer BBQ. For that reason, we opted for choices that seemed BBQ-appropriate, which meant excluding Drakeās $400-a-bottle champagne.
One quick availability note: alcohol availability varies per province, and because weāre in Ontario, we went with the options available at the LCBO, and prices are Ontario ones. You may see some variation at your local liquor store.
Wayne Gretzky
Since retiring from hockey, the Great One has delved deep into the world of alcohol. He owns a winery and distillery in the Niagara region, and earlier this year, he also released his first beer.
Because he makes over a dozen wines and a wide variety of whiskey products, we couldnāt reasonably sample all of them and still be expected to write a review. And some products seems distinctly non-summery, like ice wine or ācream whiskey.ā
We settled on the BBQ-est of options: a red, a white, and a beer.
Wine
We tried: 2017 Cabernet Merlot, $15.95
The verdict: Itās sharp, with a very dry aftertaste, and doesnāt taste particularly pleasant going down. Its highest reviews came from people who had recently tried a wine by another Canadian celeb of the same generation, reviewed below ā so itās certainly not the worst of the bunch.
āFor āThe Great One,ā heād not doing much to prove heās great,ā one staffer remarked.
To be fair, though, there were only a couple bottles left on the shelf, and there was a sticker declaring it an āOntario customer favourite.ā So it while it was almost universally disliked at our offices, clearly some people feel differently.
Would we drink it again? Probably not.
Would we take it to a BBQ? Not unless the host TRULY loved Wayne Gretzky.
We also tried: 2017 Chardonnay, $14.95
The verdict: Flat. Bland. Meh. Of all the celebrity booze we tried, this was the one that elicited the mildest reactions.
āOh, this is not that bad!ā one staffer exclaimed excitedly, betraying our very low bar.
āMaybe Iād have this if I were alone, and I wasnāt trying to impress anyone,ā another added.
Would we drink it again? Unlikely.
Would we take it to a BBQ? Only if we forgot the liquor store is probably closed on Canada Day and for some godforsaken reason this was the only wine we had on hand.
Beer
We tried: Craft Brewing No. 99 Rye Lager, $3.05/can
The verdict: This oneās pleasant! A simple but totally enjoyable summer beer. It tastes like a pretty standard lager, but the rye gives it a slightly richer, more complex, maltier taste.
Would we drink it again? Sure!
Would we take it to a BBQ? Definitely. This beerās a summer crowd-pleaser, and a BBQ is its natural environment.
Drake
What we tried: Virginia Black American Whiskey, $49.95
The verdict: Drake seems confused, in general, and about this specifically. So itās an American whiskey, named after Virginia, but in fact made in Indiana?Thereās a sticker on the back of this bottle stating āNOT FROM VIRGINIA,ā which, whoa.
And this tastes more like a whiskey drink than whiskey itself. Itās sweet and thin, like it might be cut with something. Itās definitely not bad, but itās not all that thrilling, either.
The bottle is elaborate and aesthetically pleasing, and definitely fits into Drakeās OVO aesthetic. āIt looks like something youād keep on the shelf,ā one editor remarked.
āItās nice but lacks substance, kind of like Drake himself,ā said another. Ouch.
Would we drink it again? Sure, but probably not with a huge degree of enthusiasm.
Would we take it to a BBQ? Maybe. But definitely not as a first choice.
Dan Aykroyd
We tried: Discovery Series Cabernet Shiraz, $11.05
The verdict: Stay away.
It tasted bad, like something youād buy because youāre 20 and actively seeking out the least expensive wine on the shelf. Given that itās a shiraz, youād expect a peppery note, but instead, it was just flat and acidic. One of our staffers didnāt initially think it was that bad, but after a few sips, found she couldnāt finish it.
Would we drink it again? Absolutely not.
Would we take it to a BBQ? Only to a BBQ hosted by a person we deeply hated.
We also tried: Crystal Skull vodka, $59.95
The verdict: Dan Aykroyd, we love you, buddy, and we know your Canada Day birthday is a terrible time to do this to you. But this vodka is terrible, and its high price tag an insult.
It smells and tastes like rubbing alcohol. āIt burned my eyes,ā one editor said of the experience of drinking this vodka. āI regretted it instantly.ā
Another very aptly pointed out that āit tastes like a skull.ā
Would we drink it again? No, no, no, no. No, we would not.
Would we take it to a BBQ? Maybe if the person hosting the BBQ loved skull-shaped things so much that it would be worth it to spend $60 on a skull-shaped bottle, pour the vodka down the drain, and then present them with the empty skull. Maybe.
Ryan Reynolds
We tried: Aviation American Gin, $37.45
The verdict: Points deducted off the top for the distinct un-Canadianness of the name. The marketing has also gotten to be a little much.
That being said, Aviation is shockingly good. Itās smooth and complex, with distinct floral notes, and a subtle but distinct juniper note at the end. One editor actually said it was one of the better gins heās tasted.
Would we drink it again? Definitely.
Would we take it to a BBQ? Absolutely, we would.
Tom Green
We tried: Beauās Tom Green Summer Stout, $5.95 for a 600mL bottle
The verdict: Itās nice! Effervescent and easy to drink, and much lighter than a typical stout.
One the stout scale, āthis one surprises me with drinkability,ā said the most knowledgeable beer guy in the office. They skipped dark malt, he explained, and added the flavours using adjuncts like coffee and cacao. And thereās a ānice sweetness from the lactose.ā Overall, itās āan exciting beerā that had universally positive reviews.
Would we drink it again? Unlike Gretzkyās, this isnāt an everyday beer that youād drink several of in a row. Itās such a strong and a unique flavour that you might change to something less complex afterward. So yes, weād definitely drink it again, although we might change up our order and get something else in between.
Would we take it to a BBQ: For sure.
Overall Impressions
If youāre going to go for Canadian booze, beer is definitely your safest bet.
Also, weād love to see someone Canadian women starting booze brands. How good would CĆ©line Dionās Pinot Grigio be?
All that being said, we still havenāt tried Drakeās $400 champagne. If youād like to send us some of Drakeās $400 champagne, you know where to find us.
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