Early on in a relationship, both partners put their best foot forward, showing off the most pleasant, polished versions of themselves.
Then time passes, they grow more and more comfortable with each other, eventually get married and things, well, they change.
Below, we’ve gathered 17 tweets that hilariously highlight the difference between dating and marriage.
How people walk when they’re:
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) December 17, 2017
DATING *holding hands*
ENGAGED *arms locked*
MARRIED *one person is 5 feet in front of the other and yelling back at them for parking so far away*
dating: its cute that you dont eat all the chicken off a wing
— brent (@murrman5) December 18, 2017
marriage: there’s like $1.75 worth of chicken left on those bones, meghan
10 days into dating: [hides every imperfection]
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) July 18, 2016
10 years into marriage: "Look at this zit brewing!" "The one on my back puts that to SHAME."
Texting my wife when we were dating - What are you wearing?
— Dan R (@Social_Mime) November 18, 2016
Texting my wife now - Did the dog poop?
When you're dating, you message your partner about sex & fun date ideas. When you're married, it's about breakfast cereal iron content.
— A M A N D A C O N D A with the G O O D B U N S😍 (@mommywhitfield) March 10, 2017
When we were dating, my husband crafted a multi-CD playlist for my "Day the Music Died" party, now I get excited if he texts me back "sure."
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) June 29, 2016
Crush: I hope he notices me
— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) December 27, 2017
Dating: I hope he notices my new dress
Married: DOES ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THE HAIR ALL OVER THE BATHROOM?
If you're dating and get an "I love you" text for no reason, it's endearing.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) April 27, 2016
If you're married, you wonder why he has a guilty conscience.
2nd month dating: A thousand lifetimes with you would not be enough.
— The Cre Master (@Jmboyd58) November 3, 2016
2nd month of marriage: OMG you are the loudest cereal chewer on earth!
TEXTS WHILE DATING: can't wait to see you later, i bought cute new panties
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) December 5, 2017
TEXTS WHILE MARRIED: omg there's this sweaty ass smell in the kitchen and I don't know what it is, thoughts?
Friday nights...
— Will Rodgers (@WilliamRodgers) September 12, 2015
Single: I'm going to the bar!
Dating: Wanna go to the bar?
Married: Can I go to the bar?
Married w/ Kids: Pottery Barn?
Dating: I could never stay mad at you.
— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) March 21, 2017
Marriage: It's been 3 weeks and we still aren't speaking over a fight about a laundry basket.
When dating: It's so cute how you never knows where your keys are!
— Kelcey Kintner (@mamabirddiaries) October 7, 2015
After marriage: The key hook is right HERE. Use it. You're killing me.
Remember when he used to hold it in when you were dating but now that you're married he just answers with a fart?
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) February 16, 2017
Massage when you begin dating: Sensual with lotion for an hour
— Dan R (@Social_Mime) August 23, 2017
Married massage: 1 hand, mostly knuckles during commercials on your birthday
Dating sex: dinner, compliments, attentive conversation, foreplay
— CrazyExhaustion (@CrazyExhaustion) July 13, 2015
Married sex: "When I'm outta the bathroom, let's get naked."
*dating*
— Jenn Farrar (@jennfarrar7) August 25, 2016
Send me a pic.
*marriage*
Send me a pic
of the tile you like.
Related
Before You Go
