Ariel Ng Bourbonnais was 33 years old when, eight weeks into her first pregnancy, she was told her embryo had no heartbeat, and that the pregnancy would end in a miscarriage.
It turned out she had low AMH: a condition characterized by a low egg reserve.
“I was really struggling to figure out who I was, and my feelings of self-worth as a woman,” Ng Bourbonnais told HuffPost Canada. For five years, after having a second miscarriage and continuing process her grief, Ng Bourbonnais would try to refocus on the external — getting her hair done, doing her makeup — to make herself feel better.
She decided to term herself a “barren badass,” consciously redefining what it meant, both to herself and to others, to be struggling with infertility.
With this ethos, Ng Bourbonnais co-authored “Through, Not Around,” a collection of stories about infertility and pregnancy loss. She also co-founded a website called “The 16 Percent,” which creates a space where women can safely and comfortably discuss their personal experiences with infertility and pregnancy loss.
“I feel that, if you have a baby or not, you will eventually find some sort of peace with your situation, Ng Bourbonnais said.
Watch the video above to hear more from Ariel about her infertility experience.