“Look, man, I’m a nice guy, but if you give me any more guff, I’ll rip your face off like a mad chimp,” says Carrey’s version of Biden in the first cold open of “SNL’s” 46th season.
Referring to Trump’s hair, Carrey taps into his inner Grinch and threatens: “I’ll rip that thing off your head and burn it and bury it in the pet cemetery where it came from.”
But he quietly talks himself down: “The country’s counting on you, Joe! Just stand here and look lucid.”
Fox News debate moderator Chris Wallace, played by Beck Bennett, kicked off the debate vowing to do a good job. Then Baldwin’s Trump snaps him down: “Tell that to my Adderall, Chris. Now let’s get this show on the road — and off the rails.”
Trump complains that the “China virus has been very mean to me in being a hoax,” adding: “That statement will probably come back to haunt me.” He pushes law and order, but admits there are “exceptions” — like his taxes. Maya Rudolph’s Sen. Kamala Harris eventually turns up to calm down the “boys.”
That’s when Carrey wraps up the debate using a remote control that freezes Baldwin mid-sentence.
“Isn’t that satisfying?” Carrey asks. “Just not to hear his voice for a single, goddamned second ... Let’s bask in the Trump-lessness.”
He woos: “America ... look at me. Look directly into my eyeballs. You can trust me, because I believe in science, and karma. Now just imagine if science and karma could somehow team up to send us all a message about how dangerous this virus can be.”
He peered at a still-frozen Baldwin. “I’m not saying I want it to happen. Just imagine it did. So this November, please get on the Biden train ... we can all make America not actively on fire again.”
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