Officially, there are more right ways than wrong ones to put together a Christmas list.
You can write it out in the form of a letter, interspersing two or three things you want throughout the note and addressing it, in legible cursive, to Santa Claus, North Pole, H0H 0H0. (Santa is old; he doesn’t do text or email.)
You can request a single, larger item that you really want, to dramatically increase your chances of getting whatever it is you seek.
Or, you can map everything out like some lavish grocery list, enumerating your “wishes” — read: demands — and burying your most coveted items about midway through, since everyone knows items five through nine really are the statistical sweet spot.
And it’s this last method that was the choice model for a hopeful ten-year-old girl from Ohio, whose Christmas list summarized her wildest dreams in the form of some understated, perfunctory bullet points.
Her father’s response: “My 10 year old daughter must be out of her mind with this Christmas list.”
For example: the girl has a sense of style well beyond her years, and requested not only “clothes,” but Gucci slides, perfect to pair with the Chanel purse she also desires, since every fifth grader requires a sturdy, trustworthy schoolbag to carry all their loose homework in.
Other things on the super casual list include a GoPro, pink duct tape (???), essential oil, a real bunny (not, to be clear, a fake bunny), AirPods, a new Macbook Air, and an iPhone 11.
Oh, and USD$4,000 (about CAD$5,300). Obviously.
Watch: Gifts for dad that aren’t stereotypical. Story continues below.
“No idea what the $4,000 is for,” Anthony Johnson, the girl’s father, told TIME Magazine in an interview. “Maybe she has an entirely separate list that she’s planning to buy.” (That’s just called turning a profit.)
Naturally, the 26-item list went viral on Twitter, and companies have already started reaching out to Johnson, asking if they could help by ticking some items off the ransom demands.
“Dicks and Hydro Flask have offered to send her an item off of the list,” he told TIME.
Hundreds of people commiserated under the post on Twitter, sharing their own experiences with kids whose wishes far exceeded what they’re realistically able to provide:
Others spoke their minds on what they believed was the true meaning of Christmas, arguing it isn’t really about gifts:
Many, still, marvelled at the list, noting their jealousy over the kid’s wisdom and ability to be clear about exactly what she wants:
Christmas is about dreams, after all, and this kid is dreaming big.
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