When it comes to the grocery store experience, people have opinions.
Over the years, shoppers have shared their complaints, triumphs and hilarious musings about chains like Publix, Whole Foods, Wegmans and Trader Joe’s on Twitter. The same goes for Kroger, the Ohio-based retailer that holds a special place in the hearts of countless Americans.
We’ve rounded up 37 funny tweets about shopping at Kroger. Enjoy!
May be time to cut back when the cashier at Kroger puts a box of Oreos on that little ledge and asks if I want to keep it separate like gum.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 14, 2014
*moves the most expensive cuts of beef to the top shelf*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 17, 2013
*shouts, “The steaks have never been higher!”*
*gets escorted out of Kroger*
My kids raced each other to grab my wine tonight at Kroger because they've memorized where it's located in the aisle. Parenting done right.
— Faux Ma (@Faux_Ma) May 3, 2017
I'm at a Kroger in Virginia and there are literally five straight freezer cases with nothing in them but Texas toast
— K. Thor Jensen (@kthorjensen) July 14, 2014
Can't wait to be a rich milf whos never seen w/o a glass of wine like I'll be at Kroger looking at croutons just casually sipping Pinot Noir
— Den (@daniellechezzy) June 6, 2016
The person who created a display of spray on barbecue sauce at Kroger has never grocery shopped with a 3 y/o.
— Jessica Watson (@JessBWatson) August 7, 2012
I'm sitting in my car in the Kroger parking lot surrounded by Easter candy wrappers - just in case you wondered how my day is going.
— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) March 29, 2013
If there is a Kroger's on Elm Street anywhere, I hope they never hire a guy named Freddy. That would be a nightmare for sure.
— Tim (@Playing_Dad) January 21, 2014
kroger is dead to me. how u not gon have every donut in the world but glazed?? why doesn't god want me to have my dang donuts?!
— tracy the emotional support penguin (@brokeymcpoverty) December 13, 2010
My 5yo daughter knows where to find vermouth in Kroger and apparently she's not afraid to tell everyone she sees.
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) September 4, 2015
I'll be doing an open mic tonight if the customer service desk at Kroger is unattended for any length of time.
— Just Bill (@WilliamAder) March 30, 2019
Wow. The people at this Kroger wine tasting sure know how to fucking party!
— Darin Loves Bacon (@darinlovesbacon) February 12, 2016
The guy who works in the dairy department at Kroger is the only one who calls me baby now, and I think that's bc he can't remember my name.
— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) November 18, 2014
No that was not me laying on the ground in the Kroger parking lot to get my son's pacifier out from under someone's car.
— Jessica Watson (@JessBWatson) April 15, 2013
Trying to 2/$4 pints of
— Devin Wagner (@iamdevinwagner) May 27, 2019
lose weight ice cream at Kroger
( •_•) (•_• )
( ง )ง vs ୧( ୧ )
/︶\ /︶\
Is there any better feeling than the chorus from "Africa" by Toto kicking in at the same moment your card is declined at Kroger? Le epic win
— K. Thor Jensen (@kthorjensen) September 14, 2016
Nothing says romance like an incredible dinner and wine out followed by Kroger for toilet paper and light bulbs baby!
— Jamie L. Reeves (@blondemomblog) February 15, 2010
Lady at Kroger stared at my kids while I was buying wine & said "Cherish every moment!"
— Faux Ma (@Faux_Ma) May 28, 2015
Me: "I will! I plan on drinking the whole bottle!"
Checked my phone and had 5 messages from Mom. 4 of them were about Cokes being on sale at Kroger
— Darin Loves Bacon (@darinlovesbacon) November 14, 2014
I'm here to eat kroger-brand fig newtons until I pass out and I'm all out of bubblegum
— kep (@keplyq) July 25, 2017
My wife typed the grocery list into my phone, but I suspect autocorrect interfered. This Kroger doesn’t even have 1 lb. of apes.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 21, 2013
I don't punish my Kids for acting crazy in the toy store because I act the same way when I'm in the wine aisle at Kroger.
— Faux Ma (@Faux_Ma) February 18, 2014
I'm in Kroger. I forgot my list and they're rearranging the store. It's like an Alzheimer's test and I'm failing miserably.
— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) September 17, 2014
I swear I think I heard the cashier at Kroger sigh tonight when she saw that I was buying frozen salisbury steak dinners again
— Darin Loves Bacon (@darinlovesbacon) March 10, 2015
I hate it when I try to act like a badass but I accidentally walk around Kroger singing a Barry Manilow song.
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) June 18, 2015
Special thanks to preschool for talking about the human body this week. 3 y/o loudly asked if my boob is a muscle in Kroger.
— Jessica Watson (@JessBWatson) September 25, 2012
No, I'm not going to sniff the cork. If I cared about the quality of my wine I wouldn't have bought it from the kroger clearance section.
— Faux Ma (@Faux_Ma) January 3, 2016
My wife made the kids and I sign a waiver saying we would never tell my mother that our "homemade" turkey gravy actually came out of a glass jar she bought at Kroger
— Darin Loves Bacon (@darinlovesbacon) November 23, 2017
I was gonna take my kids to the pumpkin patch, but instead we bought $3 pumpkins from Kroger and just carried on with our lives.
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) October 3, 2018
I navigate my husband over the phone to the correct aisle and shelf for the groceries in Kroger to remind him how much he needs me.
— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) February 8, 2015
he got you roses? i bet they came from Kroger. #ValentinesShade
— tracy the emotional support penguin (@brokeymcpoverty) February 14, 2012
Marry someone who is as excited about your Kroger fuel points as you are.
— Jessica Watson (@JessBWatson) June 14, 2018
I like how the Latin American foods section in Kroger is literally just salsa and tacos. That's it. That's all they eat in Latin America.
— Den (@daniellechezzy) January 2, 2014
I don't think I'll ever be classy enough to hang with all the "Hoity Toity" Socialites at the Wine tasting party going on at my local Kroger
— Darin Loves Bacon (@darinlovesbacon) June 24, 2012
Finding a good Man is way easier than it is to find a good salad dressing at Kroger.
— Faux Ma (@Faux_Ma) January 11, 2014
In case you wondered, a pot pie isn’t actually a pastry stuffed with cannabis. Thanks for nothing, Kroger.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 20, 2013
Nothing says "My husband picked out this wedding gift by himself" like a $40 gift card from Kroger.
— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) May 24, 2015
Before You Go
