COMEDY
11/23/2017 12:00 EST

The Macy's Parade Prep Looks Like A Sadistic Collection Of Gentle Giants

Who are the real monsters here?!

It’s Thanksgiving, and what better way to celebrate than to capture a group of the most beloved, gentle giants and parade them around for our own sadistic pleasure? 

Like “The Purge,” the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade has become a yearly ritual, where humanity releases all of its sick urges toward these otherwise kind inflatable colossi. 

Well, let’s get on with it, you monsters.


Look at Charlie Brown! What is this, a snuff film?? “I’m a good man, I’m a good man, I’m a good man...” 

Olaf is being drawn and quartered! 

Pikachu chooses us, and this is how we repay it??

These good-natured behemoths are freaking out!

Stephanie Keith/Getty Images

They’re clearly not lovin’ it!

Shannon Stapleton/Reuters

They don’t understand!

Timothy A. Clary/AFP/Getty Images

And look at the humans, laughing! 

Stephanie Keith/Getty Images

Put that elf back on its shelf, you sick bastards!

Timothy A. Clary/AFP/Getty Images

Ahh, we have fun. Happy Thanksgiving!