Soleil Moon Frye rose to fame as a child star, but these days, she’s making a name for herself in the parenting world.
The “Punky Brewster” actress and her husband, Jason Goldberg, have two daughters, Poet Sienna Rose and Jagger Joseph Blue, and two sons, Lyric Sonny Roads and Story. Since becoming a mom in 2005, Frye has opened up about her experience in interviews, on her DIY parenting blog and in her book, “Happy Chaos: From Punky to Parenting and My Perfectly Imperfect Adventures in Between.”
In honor of her birthday, here are 15 quotes about motherhood from Frye.
On New Motherhood
“As a new mom, I literally felt like everyone got that secret manual that I just never read! Everyone seemed to have the parenting thing down and I would be [wondering], ‘Wait a minute, I don’t know how to open the stroller right!’ I was totally that messy mom! I felt like I was on another planet and wouldn’t know how to do the right things.”
On Getting Messy
“Remember the kid that you are and be that kid again. Get messy and to enjoy it. If they’re dancing, you can dance with them. If you’re cooking with them, get them involved and it’s OK if there’s pancake batter on the floor and on the walls because it’s those moments they’ll hold onto and you’ll hold onto. Really try to have fun and not always take things too seriously.”
On The Most Surprising Thing About Motherhood
“I think the whole birthing experience, the spray to numb down there or the mesh panties. I was not made aware of the beautiful mesh panties.”
On ‘Because I Said So’ Moments
“They want to make up rules all the time so they’re always saying, ‘Why do you get to make up the rules?’ And I say, ‘Because I do!’”
On Not Feeling Alone
“It’s so funny, as a new mom I had so many questions and I literally was like, ‘Am I living in a parallel universe?’ My house is so crazy and chaotic and full of life and love and total messiness. And I started sharing through Twitter and Facebook, telling my wacky stories — whether it was the fact that I came home and there were chocolate sprinkles all over the floor or my kids telling me they had done a beautiful piece of art and finding they had painted all over the walls. I started sharing and I found I wasn’t alone; millions are also living this happy life. It really evolved from a place as a mom in the trenches that had a lot of questions and wanted to share.”
On Self-Care
“So often we forget about just taking time for ourselves. So that has been kind of a big thing for me this year, having that one-on-one time where I can go have dinner with a friend and catch up, or a hike, things like that. Little things for [myself]. It’s all about that self-love. I think as we get older, it’s sometimes hard to remember to take that time because it’s all about the kids, picking them up, and dropping them off, making sure that they do their homework, making sure they’re fed.”
On Her Kids’ Interest In Entertainment
″[M]y daughter Poet is a total performer. She loves singing, loves music. Jagger is a total comedian, and she did theater this summer, so she did the full Disney extravaganza, which was awesome, but she constantly asks about it. With my mom, I begged and pleaded, and I feel like if they’re anything like I was, I’m not going to have a say in the matter. For me, I just want them to have their education, but if they want to act and grow up and do music, I just want to encourage them to do what they love. I think one of the best things we can do as parents is give our kids a foundation of feeling like they have something to believe in and something that’s big to them. Poet wants to start a babysitter’s club, so she has her logo and her name, it’s so sweet.”
On Imperfection
“Just try to do your best as a parent, because there are so many moments where I’m [wondering], ‘Am I doing this right?’ I have my imperfect moments and you know what? I’m just going to try harder tomorrow. So when you fall down, or you make a mistake, or you have those imperfect moments – just know it is all going to be OK. I think for so long we tried to live up to this expectation, it’s not normal to be perfect. None of us is perfect. Embrace the imperfections and embrace the happy chaos.”
On First Day Of School Traditions
“On the first day of school, I love to make lunches for the girls. It’s one of my favorite mommy things to do ... When we’re all together at home after school we talk about the day and all of their adventures, the friends they’re meeting, what their favorite part of the day was, and what they’re most excited about this year.”
On Showing ‘Punky Brewster’ To Her Kids
“My husband will show them YouTube videos and stuff, and they think it’s historical. It was really funny: Jagger came in the other day and said, ‘So I need to know: Were Cherry and you really good friends? And how did that work with the three girls when you were working on camera and off camera?’ And I was like oh my goodness, she really wants to know. So they have a lot of questions. Poet really likes the preteen years, like Punky at 11 and 12 years old, that’s what she’s really into. Jagger really likes the early years.”
On Her Daughters’ Names
“Poet was a name that my husband and I loved early on. On Father’s Day, as we were debating names, we saw a quote that was by Edgar Alan Poe and a sign next to it that said poet and we decided it must be fate. Jagger was a name that we loved from the beginning. She always felt very strong in my belly and we wanted a strong name that we both loved.”
On Crafting
“As a mom, I got into crafting because my kids were taking markers to the walls, and I would come home and there would be an incredible masterpiece of artwork on our couch, so I had to start coming up with really innovative ideas that we could all do together. I have a desire to create a really fun environment for my kids. My mom was a single mom. She was an incredible chef and had a party business, so from the time I was a year-and-a-half, I was sitting there with the mixing bowls and helping her cook. It’s always been a part of my lives and my girls love to cook and bake. For my birthday, they baked me a cake!”
On Back-To-School Season
″[E]veryone in our household is excited about going back to school. It’s always an exciting time, getting back into a routine. The night before school starts, I always have my daughters put on a mini-fashion show with their outfits they’ll wear on the first day of school. It’s a great way to bring the whole family together while giving my girls a boost of confidence. I also try to revamp a study area for my girls to get them excited about hitting the books again and re-energized about the new school year.”
On Photos
“Take every photo you can, every video you can and cherish them. I have a chapter in ‘Happy Chaos’ called ‘Mack Truck’, and it’s that moment when you realize, ‘Oh my goodness my kids are getting so big so fast,’ and you don’t how it happened. Even though it happens over time, our little ones grow up and just one day we realize they’ve gotten so big. Just hold onto those moments, try to be present, and try to really enjoy even the most chaotic moments. Take a million pictures and keep a million scrapbooks, because no matter how many times people say it, it really is true ― it goes by so fast.”
On Family Time
“My favorite way to spend the weekend is with my family and playing with my kids. We love going to the beach, we love crafting, and I love going to the movies. I love having a date night with my husband — even if it’s a date night inside because we don’t have a family member to come watch the kids. Just taking that time to connect and have those few hours where you still have the foundation of you guys as a couple because we’re always about our kids, and of course that’s such a huge part of our lives, but just having that time to connect as a couple is important. We’ve been together 17 years, so I feel like one of the keys is finding that time that you get to connect as individuals and remember all the things that you fell in love with, and then your kids get to see that love and it’s happy all around. It’s happy chaos!”
