08/19/2016 16:34 EDT

Man Accidentally Eats Pot Brownies, Calls Family Cat A 'B***h'

“I should have known they weren’t my stepmom’s brownies. Because no one likes my stepmom’s brownies.”

A man in Omaha is a little green after accidentally eating some pot brownies made by his adult children ― but his cat may never forgive him.

The unidentified 53-year-old dad said he found some brownies Tuesday while unloading groceries from the back of the car, according to WCMH TV.

His kids had driven the car earlier and he thought the brownies were made by his stepmother.

That is, until he ate them along with some leftover pizza ― then he got suspicious.

“It tasted fabulous, man,” The Pot Father told “I should have known they weren’t my stepmom’s brownies. Because no one likes my stepmom’s brownies.”

The man said he ate about four brownies before noticing he was starting to feel “bad anxiety,” according to

He finally figured out he was stoned.

“I thought I had to go out and have another cigarette. So I sat down, I’m having the cigarette, and I was like, ‘Wow, I am really high,’” the man told “We put two and two together and I thought, oh, magical brownies, ya know. I said, ‘Call the kids, tell them I had two brownies and ask them how high I’m going to get.’”

When they couldn’t reach the kids, the couple called 911. “By that time it really started hitting me. I couldn’t stop fidgeting,” he told

One of the kids came home while police were at the house and told officers the brownies belonged to the siblings. He also said he was “pretty sure it was just marijuana in the brownies,” according to a police report.

Although paramedics on the scene said the man’s vital signs were normal, they noted some odd behavior on his part, including crawling around on the floor, randomly using profanities and calling the family cat a “bitch.”
When a man in Omaha, Nebraska, accidentally ingested pot brownies, he told paramedics the cat was a "bitch."

Harsh words, but The Pot Father told columnist Matthew Hansen he was misunderstood, partially because of his altered mental state: 

For the record, The Pot Father claims he was actually attempting to tell the paramedics helping him off the stairs that the cat is sometimes a bitch. As in, don’t touch her tail, guys, that cat will claw-shank you. But it maybe came out kind of weird, owing to the fact that he had just accidentally ingested an enormous amount of pot brownies. Maybe, just maybe, it came out sounding like he was “calling their cat a ‘bitch’ ” as the police report so eloquently states.

Which he wasn’t, The Pot Father swears. Although: “She can be a b...,” he tells me Thursday night.

The Pot Father ended up sleeping off his stoned state. His daughter later apologized for making the brownies, and said he has forgiven her.

Whether the cat can forgive him is another story.

Need help with substance abuse or mental health issues? In the U.S., call 800-662-HELP (4357) for the SAMHSA National Helpline.

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