The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 280-character musings. To see this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for past roundups.
Sign up for our Funniest Tweets of the Week newsletter here.
honored to be featured on the 100 Under 100 list
— ✨ 𝚍𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚒✨ (@dodaistewart) November 14, 2018
if you've never bitten eyeholes out of a slice of bologna and then held the slice up to your face and looked through the eyeholes, you might actually be normal.
— Esme Christiana (@ChristianaEsme) November 15, 2018
I’m clearly in a good place pic.twitter.com/WUvv8YsgIp
— rachel syme (@rachsyme) November 11, 2018
As someone who gets sleepy whenever it is dark outside, I look forward to being productive again in April 2019
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) November 15, 2018
if you aren’t someone the church would’ve killed 400 years ago are you even living?
— 𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯 (@myhoneypeaches) November 15, 2018
Sativa vs indica pic.twitter.com/Gup2WcqIut
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) November 12, 2018
It’s snowing but the leaves are still on the trees and the grass is still green. I’m blaming this on all of you people who have been listening to Christmas music since the day after Halloween.
— Leslie Brooks (@Leslie_Annie) November 15, 2018
when you buy two things at sephora and the total says $150 pic.twitter.com/hkXPP64Geh
— Ziwe (@ziwe) November 12, 2018
PowerPuff Girls ain’t even got fingers bruh. Hands forever balled up in fists. They had no choice but to be bout that action
— mhm (@HoeStopTwatchin) November 12, 2018
If the past tense of dig is dug, the past tense of pig should be pug. Don't @ me.
— Candied Yaelms (@elle91) November 13, 2018
Why send sexy pics to dudes for validation when you can update your FB photo and instantly get hundreds of compliments from your middle aged aunts
— Tamara Yajia (@DancesWithTamis) November 11, 2018
i can’t wait until i can move in with my boyfriend and we can get cool bunk beds
— kelly (@kelllicopter) November 15, 2018
thinking about how the Starbucks mermaid is slowly, but surely, getting closer, and we cannot stop her pic.twitter.com/OZJ1yb9WRI
— Chloe 'Chloe Adams' Adams (@addamschloe) November 10, 2018
I just want to say that I will be 30 next year and Forbes missed out on the opportunity to kiss my ass for YEARS.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) November 14, 2018
In times like these it’s comforting to think how much that bro who came up with bros before hos deeply loved his bros
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) November 14, 2018
Anyone: “if you want to make it in this industry you have to network, network, network!”
— Scorp:igbo 🌒 (@VanessaIfeoma) November 12, 2018
Me: pic.twitter.com/QRqsfDTKoV
let👏detective👏pikachu👏help👏with👏the👏mueller👏investigation👏
— Asia (@AsiaDNYC) November 12, 2018
Today I thought to myself "Hm, I'm ready for Christmas decorations." Then I thought "Oh so THIS is what aging is."
— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) November 11, 2018
The years have not been kind to lounge singer jigglypuff pic.twitter.com/nxtzMkuK54
— Sara Sorrentino (@SaraSorrentino) November 12, 2018
So honored and excited to announce that I’m still on my mom’s 30 Under 30 list
— Madeline Hill (@mad_hill) November 13, 2018
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