The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 280-character musings. To see this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for past roundups.
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IKEA is just an escape room you don’t have to pay to enter
— Caroline (@_caroline__28) July 30, 2018
he was a trader joe she said see you later joe
— continent creator (@roombahacker) August 1, 2018
I bought and set up a printer today pic.twitter.com/511FpkqWG7
— Quinta (@quintabrunson) August 2, 2018
I am SUPER chill unless I'm hungry, overheated, running late, waiting in a long line, in traffic, at the doctor, on a beach, getting a massage, having a cocktail, sleeping,
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) July 31, 2018
uhhh of course i’m going to see mamma mia 2 for the 500th time it’s called mamma mia here we go again not mamma mia here we go once
— grace 🌻 (@gracepxx) July 31, 2018
If you think you're gonna shame me for busting my ass and working myself to the bone and spending some of my money on bougie shit, you are sadly, sadly mistaken.
— roxane gay (@rgay) July 30, 2018
I'm into
— bletchley punk (@alicegoldfuss) July 31, 2018
⚪️ Men
⚪️ Women
🔘 Researching the menu ahead of time so I know exactly what to order, including side dishes and dessert
Workout instructor yelled “run like you’re avoiding your problems!” and I disassociated so hard I sprinted a 10.5mph pace
— Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) August 1, 2018
*listens to Lana Del Rey one time* pic.twitter.com/NWx7xNkF6H
— Audrey Porne (@AudreyPorne) July 28, 2018
Trying to view my anxiety not as something menacing but just an annoying, unwelcome presence.
— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) July 31, 2018
Like a neighbor in a ‘90s sitcom
the only thing holding this country together right now is a swedish pop band from the 70s
— kelly (@kelllicopter) July 29, 2018
have not stopped laughing at this text from my dad, a copy editor for Christ, since i got it yesterday pic.twitter.com/gLcd2dKfmE
— Hannah Giorgis (@ethiopienne) August 1, 2018
Birthday at 21: Takes 12 different shots from 12 different bars.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) August 2, 2018
Birthday at 37: Takes two different pain relievers because I literally hurt myself sleeping.
Adult culture is just walking around constantly astounded by how much everything costs
— Brit Bennett (@britrbennett) August 2, 2018
Me every single time I flake on plans pic.twitter.com/kiEmUbmoxS
— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) July 31, 2018
My daughter is singing an original song called "When My Mom Grows Up" and I've honestly never felt so understood by a 3 year old.
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) July 27, 2018
Astrologer: Mercury is in retrograde!
— Morgan Jerkins (@MorganJerkins) July 27, 2018
Me: When is that bitch NOT in retrograde?
august 1st will always be remembered as the panicked OH SHIT I HAVEN'T STARTED MY SUMMER READING MOM I NEED YOU TO DRIVE ME TO BARNES AND NOBLE RIGHT NOW day
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) July 31, 2018
Pretty sure a 16 year old hit on me last night which means I either still have it or I need to stop wearing capris
— Atsuko Okatsuka (@AtsukoComedy) July 29, 2018
adulting, am i right, kids?!?!?!
— Melissa Radzimski (@melissaradz) August 1, 2018
* laughs for 75 minutes straight and passes out from exhaustion * pic.twitter.com/8jnDRxvZqD
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