12/12/2011 12:19 EST | Updated 02/10/2012 05:12 EST

The Young and the Jobless


Last week in the Toronto Star

Robert Benzie's piece asserted an alarming statistic: Ontario is losing 100 jobs every hour, on the hour.Career Options Magazine (via theGlobe and Mail) recently noted that worse still, "Ontario has a 15% youth unemployment rate, which is higher than the national average and double the overall unemployment rate in Ontario". And just in case you're not getting the picture, this weekend on Parent Central via theToronto Star, filmmakers Sharon Bartlett and Maria LeRose report that "...51 per cent of Canadians ages 20 to 29 live with their parents -- twice the rate of 25 years ago." Today's economy sucks for young people. The educational and experiential requirements to land an entry-level job are extremely more demanding than in years past.

I feel like I've aged at least 10 years over my summer of unemployment. Long gone are my dreams and ambitions of finding a "creative" job, a fulfilling job, a job I enjoy. Fantastic, I am jaded and still in my 20s. And now I have that Aerosmith song in my head. Even worse.

For the entertainment of you, dear reader, I will share with you five things I've done/almost done for money while unemployed:

1) Sold my bicycle. (Still weeping.)

2) Had a friend take my measurements to produce hoards of ghastly clothes for a miserly, tasteless man with whom she haggled with to get paid the legal minimum wage.

3) Posted ads on Craigslist for the following "services": dog walker, nanny, unlicensed private detective (!), English tutor.

4) Traveled about three hours a day to pack student election ballots in a warehouse with a sole bathroom looked like it belonged in a prison.

5) Seriously considered selling my eggs.

While I continue to add to the hundreds of resumes I've sent out thus far, I also wonder about potential solutions to this crisis -- and my brain just farts.

I'm this close to running around nude in Nathan Phillips Square carrying billboard sized copies of my resume. Or, becoming another statistic by moving back in with my mom. (HI MOM!)