08/23/2012 05:07 EDT | Updated 10/23/2012 05:12 EDT

Ode To A Wedge Sneaker


And now, an ode to a wedge sneaker...

While odes are not the customary route,

In fact some folks might call them obsolete,

When I saw marriage that met sneak and boot

I knew my life would ne'er be incomplete.

So here I toil before a glowing screen

Compelled to make my sentiments quite clear.

To praise thee one must take a trip through time

When words meant more, but now to set the scene:

One pair, my size, West End, no holds -- the fear!

I won't lose you sneak-boot, you will be mine!

A plan to save my love from a cruel fate

Where without me her sole may fade away

(Not sure why with shoes female is my mate,

But check the curves! That's lady-like, daresay.)

In short the footwear now adorns my feet.

No rush. Who knew? Caught up with old friends, too.

Okay, just one -- hi Krystal -- it counts still,

Besides, good news, this ode ends, that's a treat.

Merci Marant pour vos chaussures et tout,

A sneaker, a heel; I could climb that hill.

I was not expecting the struggles that come with writing an ode. Thank goodness I scrapped my first idea of sticking to the traditional Greek form. Wedge sneakers were due for some poetry since their invasion and take-over of the feet of the young, frivolous, and trendy in mid-2011, but it wasn't until I saw their latest incarnation from the original sneaker maven, Madame Isabel Marant that I felt compelled to write a ditty myself.

Her latest velcro-centric design is called the Benny and I remember thinking they were but a magical eBay fever dream upon first glance. Thankfully I was mistaken because, oh boy are these shoes real, and I mean real in the most RuPaul way possible.

The shoes themselves look like an evolution of their predecessors, which were praised for their comfort and secret, hidden wedge, but this new wedge ain't so secret. How quickly species evolve in the fashion world; from a big heel, to a hidden one, and now back to showing off the extra height. And from the looks of the Benny, these platforms of 20th century Spice Girls proportions aren't going anywhere.