Are you going to try for that girl? That is usually one of the top three questions I get whenever someone hears that I have two young sons. (The other two questions being what are their names and how old are they.) Don't get me wrong, if one of my two boys had been a girl, I would have been over the moon happy, but am I any less sad that I have two boys? Are you kidding?
First of all, why no one asks my husband if he wants or wanted a girl is proof that there is a double standard in play, like wanting a girl or an even offspring split on gender is a maternal desire. But I think people fail to realize what not having a girl can mean to a mom -- and it's not a bad deal.
Boys Get In Moods, Girls Just Get Moody
I will never ruin someone's life. Let me qualify that. The likelihood of an offspring screaming "you ruined my life" as they slam their bedroom door is pretty much non-existent. Chances are, I will get just a door slam when one of my boys is a bit unhappy. My oldest is almost five and it already happens. But there will be no screaming. There will be fewer tears. There will be less extended periods of drama. Door slam, fine. They are boys. They will get hungry. They will come out. Now girls, I know. I was a girl. I am a girl. I pout. I slam cupboards for days. If I'm angry, the whole world knows it and I want the whole world to know it. And yes, girls often wake up in bad moods. Later in life, we blame PMS. Early in life, we blame everyone around us. Truth be told, it's because we're girls. We're allowed to be pissed off for no reason. It's what we're known for. Boys concentrate their energy on cartoons and cereal instead.
My Closet Is MY Closet
How many moms say "oh, she dressed herself," as an excuse for their daughter's mismatched or all pink outfit. Boys can always dress themselves and will very rarely look like the dryer threw up on them -- because most of their bottoms are black, blue, or grey, with maybe some khaki thrown in for summer. Tops are almost always white, red, or blue, with a few greens or blacks for good measure, or maybe the odd yellow or orange. There are no pinks to clash with reds or polka dots to go with stripes. Shopping is a breeze for boys, because it's no different than shopping for men when it comes to the basics. Try it on. Like the fit? Buy it in three primary colours. Done. And while I never raided my mom's closest, I used to sneak clothes out of my sister's closet all the time, and did she ever hate it. I will never have that problem. I will never have to worry about a piece of clothing being stained when I take it out of the closet because I know I will have been the last one to wear it. (Sorry, Debbie.)
I Never Have To Have The Talk
Now before you think I'm just going to be irresponsible, I will have a talk of some sort with my boys as they get older. But there will be more instances of "go ask daddy" then you can probably imagine. First of all, my plumbing doesn't work in the same way. That's just a point of fact. So when it comes to any type of "issues" or "questions" they may have concerning anything below the waist, saying "go ask daddy" is just the informal way of saying "I don't know and I don't want to assume responsibility for any incorrect advice." But when dating time does come around, well, that's a different story. I can tell them what I would like from a girl's point of view, and I will talk to them about how to properly woo a girl, and how to show respect to the opposite sex, and so on and so forth. But let's face it, they're going to dad for this one, and so they should. He was their age AND male at one point. He can relate. I never have to have the talk about the pill or urinary tract infections or yeast infections or proper bra sizing. Dodged that bullet.
Mom + Only Boys = Alone Time
Right now, my boys are all about mommy. Mommy change me. Mommy do it. No daddy, I want mommy. And while it can get REALLY tiresome, I survive in the knowledge that one day, daddy will want to take the boys to a ballgame and I WON'T have to go. Not that I don't like baseball, but I like having the choice not to go. Would you rather stay home and play hockey with daddy or go shopping with mommy? One day soon, that answer will always be stay home and play hockey. So shopping with mommy turns into shopping, then grab coffee and a pedicure. Serenity may not be now, but I do believe it's coming.
So would I have liked to have had a girl? Why not? But having two boys isn't a consolation prize. All kids, boys or girls, can make you want to throw yourself, or them, out a window. But with boys, there's usually less hair to un-knot, no tights to wrestle on, and let's face it. When they grow up, no one else will want the fruity wine.