10/20/2014 05:52 EDT | Updated 12/20/2014 05:59 EST

Why An All-Female 'Ghostbusters' Cast Is A Bad Idea

Hear me out.


Image Credit: Taylor Hill/WireImage

With Halloween fast approaching, reruns of ghoulish classics have been playing on loop on the movie channels. I'm not big on horror flicks, but I'd hardly classify Bill Murray blowing up a marshmallow man as nightmare-inducing, so I indulged in "Ghostbusters" for the umpteenth time last night.

During the film, I flipped through my Twitter feed -- as you do while watching anything these days -- and came across a few headlines quoting Murray's thoughts on an all-female cast, should a "Ghostbusters 3" transpire. The poor guy is trying to promote his brilliant new film "St. Vincent," yet this question keeps popping up consistently in interviews. After all of the films and Wes Anderson-awesomeness he's been a part of since then, this is what we're asking him?

Then I started thinking, is that really a good idea? Female "Ghostbusters"? Women putting on proton packs and saving Manhattan (again) from the paranormal? I think it's a terrible idea. The only reason producers would consider an all-female cast is to sell tickets, which I get. But wouldn't it be better to reprise the original cast and develop a kick-ass script instead?

Sadly, Harold Ramis, who played Egon Spengler and penned the screenplays for "Ghostbusters" and "Ghostbusters 2," passed away earlier this year, but isn't that reason enough to do the story justice?

In "Ghostbusters 2," the film concludes with the Ghostbusters saving Manhattan (yet again) and being awarded the Key to the City by the mayor. Wouldn't it be interesting to see the original cast reunite for one last supernatural showdown instead of suggesting actors such as Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Emma Stone, and Amy Poehler suit up for the third installment? Hear me out.

Following the fame and notoriety that comes with saving New York City -- twice -- we find our men living it up all over the U.S. Book deals, movie scripts, and endorsements have made them rich. Winston (Ernie Hudson) lives in Beverly Hills and collects classic cars. Ray (Dan Aykroyd) is hiding out on his private island in Hawaii. Peter (Bill Murray) has an impressive spread in the Florida Keys, and is surrounded by bikini-clad models. Egon (Harold Ramis) dies tragically when a lab experiment goes awry, but his scientific protege son, played by Shia Labeouf, is a fine prospect.

This time it's not just New York, it's the entire United States that is under attack. Slimer-esque spooks are popping out of people's ice boxes all over the Midwest. Savage dogs are terrorizing the streets in the South. Reports of hair-raising sightings are frequent along the Las Vegas strip, and something menacing was spotted swinging from the iconic Hollywood sign. The U.S. government is running out of options, given the CIA and Secret Service have failed to contain the issue. The Ghostbusters are their only hope.

Then you bring back Annie Potts as Janine, the spunky receptionist, and Rick Moranis as the socially awkward accountant. You bring back Sigourney Weaver as Dana and have her and Peter rekindle their romance -- but this time, they get married. Toss in a bunch of cameos -- Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Emma Stone, and Amy Poehler, if you like! -- and voila, a blockbuster is born.

I'm not suggesting that women couldn't play these roles, but "Ghostbusters" has become a cult classic that shouldn't be messed with. I compare it to casting men in "Sex and the City 3," should that sequel transpire -- and let's hope it doesn't.

Besides, doesn't the world need a little more Bill Murray? Are we really over seeing Peter Venkman save us of from the underworld? I didn't think so.


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