12/08/2015 05:44 EST | Updated 12/08/2016 05:12 EST

Top 6 Life Lessons From The Great Beyond


The other day, I had a reading with a medium. Yes, an "I see dead people" medium. I was curious. I'd heard amazing things about this woman from people I like and respect. Plus, I could justify it as "research for my novel" (in truth, a lot of things fall under this very broad category, including listening in on other people's conversations and consuming my body weight in poppy seed danish.)

The only experience I'd had with mediums before was watching Long Island Medium on television (love her) and attending one terrible group session with a medium who should not be working with people, be they living or dead. I had no idea what to expect. I imagined she might be sporting a tie-dyed caftan and playing whale music in the background. I was relieve that she was about my age, totally normal looking, and very well read. And she was funny: a sense of humour is always encouraging.

Before my session with her, I was not sure how much I bought into the notion of expanding one's social circle beyond the living, but, wow, was this woman ever good. Even if you were my very best friend in the whole wide world and a private detective, you'd have trouble uncovering the things she knew. After the session, I dissected it all to see if she was employing typical cold reading techniques but I don't think she was. Not only did she know specific things I knew about people who have died, but she also knew specific things I did not know about those people. After the reading, I had some holy moly moments when talking to family who filled in some of the blanks. It was a sort of paranormal double-blind trial and it was really pretty cool.

Even better than all of the gee wow validations the medium provided, however, was the amazing sense of comfort I felt after the reading. I'd gone into it as a bit of a lark and came out feeling quite revitalized. Whether her words were heaven-sent or not, she gave me some excellent advice.

Here are six life lessons that (purportedly) came from the other realm:

1. Know you are loved.

Our people on the other side love us unconditionally. In death, everyone seems to gain perspective. All that stuff that gets in the way of people just loving each other is gone. Now, they simply want the best for us and are cheering us on. Bask in the acceptance.

2. Get over it.

You need to get over it: whatever it is. (And I know that whatever it is can be awfully bad.) You've got to move on or it's going to get in the way of all of the positive experiences. No matter what happened, it's a blip when it comes to eternity so get on with it already. (I found this advice tough to swallow too. It appears that the dead don't pull their punches, as they delivered a lot of tough love.) Try to reframe hardship as something that has strengthened you spiritually. The silver lining is that the struggles you have faced on earth seem to give you bonus points in the next realm. Think of life's negative experiences as air miles: take the trip, log the miles, and then enjoy the perks of having super-prestige status. Don't get stuck on the tarmac.

3. Don't worry about justice.

The biggest obstacle to forgiveness is feeling that if you let things go, the person who hurt you gets away with what they did. Take heart: justice will prevail, so you don't need to worry your pretty little head about it here on earth. From what I understand, my rather formidable grandmother is going to be playing a role in delivering justice to someone who was really quite awful. She is somewhere in the ether rolling out pastry and, as anyone who'd ever sampled my nana's baking attempts would attest, there is only one use for her pie crust: weaponry. She's got my back, so I can let it go.

4. Fix your business.

It seems as though anything we don't deal with on earth gets carried forward to the next realm. My nana was a living saint yet is still working on her pastry skills in the great beyond. It seems to be better to get on top of your flaws now so you don't go through eternity clutching a rolling pin.

5. Be who you are.

We are all given limited time on earth to be whoever we are supposed to be. Don't spend all that time trying to be someone else. You are the way you are for a reason. You have specific gifts to share and specific flaws to overcome. Own them.

6. Get on with it.

Life is short. Really, really short. So don't waste time keeping up with the Joneses, holding grudges, or letting your fears get the best of you. Figure out what you are meant to do and get busy doing it.


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