02/12/2016 11:30 EST | Updated 02/12/2017 05:12 EST

How To Win The Heart Of A Mother This Valentine's Day

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Couple making heart shape with hands

Forget the chocolates, the pricey cards and even the flowers. What do you really want for Valentine's Day?

As a busy mom, I don't value the standard gifts of Valentine's Day the way I did as a young bride and I think many women out there think the same way. We don't need the extra calories of heart-shaped chocolate or expensive, cut flowers that wilt and die in a few days or a store-bought card that lacks originality. We want deep connection, silly in-jokes, a little appreciation for our efforts and some really great kissing now and then.

Romance isn't something that you can pick up on your way home from work.

In fact, I don't really want my husband making a heroic romantic effort for Valentine's Day at all. After being married a very long time, I know my husband loves me and I much prefer it when he shows me in those innumerable, sweet, small ways throughout our daily life together.

Of course, no partner should ever actually forget the day, but a small acknowledgement is all I need as long as I feel loved every other day as well.

What do we really want?

I think we all just want to feel cherished and appreciated. So while I love the occasional grand gesture as much as the next girl, I don't need big gifts every Valentine's Day.

Do you want to make me weak in the knees? Here's my short list of what I find crazy romantic:

  • When he helps the kids with their homework assignments. Especially math. I hate math.
  • When he offers to make dinner because I have a headache ... or especially when I don't have one!
    • When I go out with the girls and he simply says, "Don't worry about the kids. I've got this. Have fun."

  • When he makes plans for the kids to visit Grandma so we can have some time together, even if we do nothing but sleep in and then talk about how much we miss the kids already.
  • When he does the household stuff I'm terrible at: cutting the grass, shovelling the driveway or repairing the toilet without being asked.
  • When he doesn't make fun of my favourite trashy reality TV show.
  • When he can make me laugh even when I am really annoyed as hell at him.
  • When our children do or say something adorable and we exchange that look that says, "Yup, we make these kids this awesome," and it kind of makes us think about having more. Until we come to our senses.
  • When he leaves for work and I can still catch a hint of his cologne lingering in the air.

Those are just some of the things I find more romantic as our years together fly by. Do you love big displays of affection on Valentine's Day or do you prefer something more low-key? What's your definition of romantic? Tell us in the comments below!

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