'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through B.C.
The pipeline wars were stirring, even over LNG
Liberal stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that Petronas soon would be there
The premier and cabinet were all snug in their beds
While visions of a debt-free B.C. danced in their heads
And taxpayers in their 'kerchiefs, and I in my cap
Had just settled our bills for a long winter's nap
When on the Legislature lawn arose such a clatter
We sprang from our stupor to see what's the matter
Quick as tax subsidies to TV shows like 'The Flash'
Why must these governments burn through all our cash?
The moon on the poodle on a street called Main
Lit the people streaming off another stalled SkyTrain
When what to my wondering eyes did I see
But a TransLink executive in his luxury SUV
With the $468,000 man throwing our money into the abyss
I knew in a moment this must be Ian Jarvis
More rapid than bus lines his enablers they came
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name
"Now, Greg Moore! Now, Cote! Now Walton and Gregor!
On, Jack Froese! On, Stewart! On, Brodie and Hepner!
Yet another TransLink tax! Grab the wallets of all!
Now waste away! Waste away! Waste away all!
Like leaves that before the wild hurricane fly
There were so many others with tax hikes to try
Even on our properties the taxes they grew
Increases more than inflation, and new fees too-
All done, with nary an inkling of the strain we feel
When from our wallets hundred dollar bills they peel
As I shook my poor head, and from my face rushed the blood
In the mailbox came my MSP bill with a thud
It was dressed as "insurance," from its head to its foot
But it's a tax and unfair and goes up every year to boot
So a growing $144 monthly bill breaks a taxpayer's back
Meaning less toys or hockey skates for kids in Santa's pack
These taxes -- how they creep up! This burden we must carry!
All to pay half a million bucks for a guy to run BC Ferries!
A prime minister letting EI and CPP hikes flow
And all those payroll taxes causing good jobs to go
Reid and Kwan apologizing through gritted teeth
All because they got caught spending beyond belief
Governments and Crown CEOs, to the bar they belly
Why must there always be bad tax news on my telly?
They are chubby and plump, all of 'em jolly fat cats
And we sighed when we saw them, hiding wallets under hats
With a blink of their eye and a twist of their head
Our taxes shoot up, in more ways than we can dread
A few bucks here, a few bucks there, that's how they work
And we who oppose them, they deem insolent jerks
And again they come, laying their fingers into our pay packets
So it's up to taxpayers to yell, "NO!" and make a big racket
Send them to find inefficiencies and keep blowing the whistle
Forcing 'em to save us the money by cutting the gristle
Still we hear them exclaim, ere they drove out of sight
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a bigger tax bite!"