10/12/2012 03:26 EDT | Updated 12/12/2012 05:12 EST

Rebrand: There's No Hope For Chief Terrance Nelson

There are only two ways of dealing with the "white man": "Either you pick up a gun or you stand between him and his money," said former First Nations Chief Terrance Nelson.

WOW -- really Terry Nelson?

Are you really that much of a train wreck?

Now, I am all about authenticity when it comes to building a personal brand, but this guy clearly didn't get the memo when he started in on his recent media tour aptly named "The Buckethead Native Guy Goes to Iran."

Now, I am not a white man so you may have to think about another way to deal with me, Terry, but let's have a little conversation about the constructive use of the media to get your key messages across -- after all it's about winning hearts and minds isn't it when it comes to trying to affect change?

And I am assuming that you are looking to affect change aren't you, Terry?

Or is this just a publicity stunt designed to make you infamous as in "oh ya that buckethead Former First Nations Chief who told everyone that he wanted to go to Iran and have a confab -- don't take him seriously, he's an idiot" guy?

Ya know, there is a better way Terry.

But, before we get to that, just a little truth telling here -- if I was to state that the only way to deal with a Former First Nations Chief was to stand between him and his bottle wouldn't you be just a tad offended? So right off the bat how about an apology to Canadians (including those in our own community who I am sure must be hoping that you will just go away)?

And, that's not a good thing Terry -- I mean how are we supposed to take you seriously when you go around spouting off in this manner?

So, let's start with a mea culpa and then take it from there.

First -- let's start with your key messages:

Could we look at something like "wanting to find a way to move forward so that my people can live with dignity and lead productive and hopeful lives?"

Nope -- you still want to confab with Iran.

Okay -- different tack.

How about you want to point out to Iran that they are amongst the most abusive and suppressed regime on the face of the earth and that that is not a good thing?

No -- you are thinking that a discusssion over coffee about human rights abuses and resource development

On the same agenda?

I'm a tad confused here Terry.

What does that even mean?

One more try ....

How about you want to make a point that Canada has such a bad track record in human rights abuses?

That works for you does it -- except that when I look for proof points and back up on that front there is none -- Canada has always been a staunch supporter of human rights -- we continue to evolve on that front and some may say, lean way too far to the rights of the individual but we are good there.

Well, Terry, I'm tapped out here on messaging that might make a difference to your cause.

So, pack your bags, good man and off to Iran with you.

Oh, and one more thing -- can you make sure that your insurance is up to date before you go, because it costs a ton to fly back a body from there -- especially if it's in pieces.

If you 'd like, we can work on the messaging for your obit before you go?