02/12/2013 12:26 EST | Updated 04/14/2013 05:12 EDT

How Can the Pope Resign? People Are Still Using Condoms!

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(FILES) This file picture taken on December 29, 2012, in St.Peter's square at the Vatican shows Pope Benedict XVI saluting as he arrives to the ecumenical christian community of Taize during their European meeting. Pope Benedict XVI on February 11, 2013 announced he will resign on February 28, a Vatican spokesman told AFP, which will make him the first pope to do so in centuries. AFP PHOTO / FILES / ALBERTO PIZZOLI (Photo credit should read ALBERTO PIZZOLI/AFP/Getty Images)

These are tough times for the soon-to-be-departed Pope Benedict XVI. Not only are people all around the world voluntarily using condoms, but his "effort" to "apologize" to a large number of sexually abused (OK, raped) children went largely scoffed at and he's now retiring at the end of February.

These are tough times for the Catholic Church, as well. They're dealing with a world of people who are now more than ever (myself included) questioning whether a man lived inside a whale for three days, a talking snake gave bad advice to a naked chick, or that Joseph's dad was somehow able to knit him a Technicolo(u)r Dreamcoat in the middle of the Ancient Egyptian desert.

Here's the Toronto Star's Rosie DiManno, in her column from Monday morning:

"As Catholic-in-Chief, Pope Benedict XVI deserved to be fired.

"Under his administration, the Roman Catholic Church has become increasingly irrelevant to a growing number of the world's 1.2 billion (nominally) faithful.

"It has apologized for the legions of children sexually abused by priests and brothers, paying out multi-millions, yet never brought those predators to a reckoning.

"It has reversed every hint of theological liberalism, essentially erasing Vatican II from history, in a fierce embrace of the rigidly doctrinaire."

Yup. It's easy to find an excuse to frown if you're a man of faith, or if you wear a hat that looks like a jib sheet.

But, they must take a cue from the very film they chose to berate and ban in 1979.

Remember, Pope Benedict, always look on the bright side of life.

(After all, his Church's victims now have to.)

This was originally posted on White Cover Magazine.

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