07/25/2013 12:33 EDT | Updated 09/24/2013 05:12 EDT

You Suck Pretty Hard. What Next?


You're feeling totally crap and having a hard time getting a grip. You're definitely struggling with accepting your situation as impermanent and you're doing that thing where you take everything that's wrong with your life, piling each unfortunate piece one atop the other, until you have an entire sandwich made of crap. Things are looking bleak and you're positive that you'll never amount to anything in this lifetime.

Before you start watching Ghost and looking at more successful people's Facebook pages, take a step back. Just one step is all you need to turn this dark horse around. Here are some options on how to proceed:

1. Visit with mother nature.

You have to leave the house ASAP and go out into the natural world to get some clarity and perspective. The sound of the waves will calm your mind and the sight of magnificent trees will make you feel reverence for the larger picture. There is nothing more balancing than spending time with your feet on the earth. You don't have to accomplish anything out there, just let go and take some space.

2. Talk to someone who isn't going to try to fix you.

Listening is a skill that most people haven't figured out just yet. You need to be able to talk and weep and get all that stuff out with another human being present who is going to give you space to feel how you feel. You don't need to be fixed, you just need to let it all out. If you don't have someone right now who can fill this role, then you'll have to do it for yourself. Listen to how you feel without judgement. It can be challenging but it's a skill worth developing.

3. Spell out your gratitude.

Now that you've let a bit of the crap fly, write down all of the things that you're grateful for. Like, "having really great water pressure in the shower" or "an unrelenting friend who listens to you cry regularly." Read the list out loud to yourself before you go to bed and when you wake up. It doesn't work if you don't read it out loud. This will give you some positive stuff to focus on, reminding you that it's not all bad.

4. Embark on a healthy routine.

Go to bed and wake up at the same time daily, get some emotional, physical and spiritual exercise (this is where the yoga practice comes in handy), and eat soothing foods that are good for your body and soul. You have to take care of yourself in order to feel better. Put down the booze and drink some carrot juice. It's that simple. Although, eating an entire pizza is also fine.

5. Embrace these feelings.

Half the battle of dealing with emotions is feeling as if what you're feeling isn't what you should be feeling. Maybe what you need to do in order to heal is to give your emotions some space to exist. This is why it's good to get out in nature, talk to someone, write stuff down and get on your mat (yoga mat, that is). If you push feelings away, they'll just crop up at another time. Be with yourself, be kind to yourself, and don't rush the experience. You'll probably find in the end that you don't really suck at all. In fact, you ain't half bad.

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