05/08/2017 11:47 EDT | Updated 05/08/2017 11:47 EDT

A Bollywood Take On Life Before And After Marriage

Indian, or Bollywood, movies would be incomplete without a song and dance number. India produces approximately 1000 movies a year annually. On average, each movie has about five to six songs, which means that at least 5000 movie songs are released every year. There are songs about the obscurest of things, from strawberry eyes ("Strawberry Ankhein") to story of eggs ("Anday Ka Fanda") to taking a bath with cold water ("Thande Thande Pani Say Nahana Chahiye").

When I was growing up in the 80s and 90s, it seemed like every Bollywood movie we watched had a customary scene where the leading lady and the leading man sang and danced around the trees. A colleague of my father, in the 80s, in the Middle East, actually asked him if that is what a couple in love did in India. I believe my father said yes. Consequentially, Bollywood songs play a big role at Indian weddings, often with the bride's or groom's family and friends entertaining the wedding guests to choreographed Bollywood dances. Or in my sibling's case, the groom strutted his dance moves to a Bollywood sequence.

bollywood dancing

Even if there is no dancing or performances at the wedding, there is at least Bollywood music playing in the background. When the bride is exits the wedding venue with the grooms' family, you are almost guaranteed to hear the customary "Babul Ke Duaeen Leti Ja," which roughly translates to "Go, taking your parents' prayers." Growing up, my brother and I often started the weekend off with watching a Bollywood movie together. The cheesier they were, the more we enjoyed them!

I was the master of ceremonies at my brother's wedding. I wanted to engage the audience and what better way than using humour to do so. I searched for some wedding jokes for ideas but they were just too cliché-ridden. I stumbled upon some "Before Marriage and After Marriage" jokes using a play on Bollywood movie titles. I thought those were ingenious considering my brother's love for Bollywood movies. I was hoping to be a tad bit original as well. So, I decided I would use Bollywood song titles instead and come up with my own spicy concoction of jokes, given the plethora of Bollywood song titles available to search through. I have been asked, on occasion, to share these. So, this one is for my Bollywood obsessed friends and readers. Translations appear below the movie titles, however, I apologize that the jokes get lost in translation.

Shaadi Se Pehle - Shaadi Ke Baad

(Translation: Before Marriage - After Marriage)

1. Abhi Nahin Jaana - Kabotar Ja, Ja

(Translation: Don't go yet - Pigeon, go away, go)

2. Bolo Na, Tum Zara - Kuch Na Kaho....Kuch Bhi Na Kaho

(Translation: Say something - Don't say anything...Don't say a word)

3. O Haseena Zulfon Wali - Ek Haseena Thi

(Translation: Beautiful haired girl - There was a babe

4. Kaisa Yeh Ishq Hai, Ajab Sa Ishq Hai - Kambaqkht Ishq Cheez Hi Aisi

(Translation: How is this love? It is so unique - Love is an ill-fated thing)

5. Azeem O Shaan Shah - Joru Ka Ghulam

(Translation: Honorable and majestic Emperor - Wife's slave)

6. Shukran Allah - Allah Madad Karna

(Translation: Thank you, God - God, please help me)

7. Ladki Badi Hai Kamaal Ki - Yeh Ladki Badi Sarfiri

(Translation: This girl is fantastic - This girl is crazy)

8. Dil Tera Deewana - Badtameez Dil

(Translation: Heart is crazy for you - Ill-mannered heart)

indian wedding

9. Aashiq Banaya Aapne - Tune Mera Chain Vain Le Liya

(Translation: You made me a lover - You took away my peace)

10. Hum to Hain Love Birds - Qaid Mein Hain Bulbul

(Translation: We are love-birds - The bird [nightingale] is trapped)

11. Dil Deewana - Kyon Hota Hai Dil Deewana

(Translation: Heart is crazy - Why is the heart crazy?)

12. All is Well - Dus Bahane

(Translation: All is well - Ten excuses)

13. Dil Mein Ho Tum....Aakhon Mein Tum - Dil Dooba, Dil Dooba

(Translation: You are in my my eyes - Heart has drowned, heart has drowned)

14. Mashallah, Mashallah, Chehra Hain Mashallah - Tauba....Tumhare Kya Ishare

(Translation: God has willed it, your face is beautiful - [Seeking repentance] O my goodness, what attitude you have)

15. Yeh Ladka Haai Allah - Yeh Ladka Hai Deewana

(Translation: This boy, oh God (what a wonder he is) - This boy is crazy)

16. Salam-e-Ishq - Ishq Ne Todi Sar Par Qayamat

(Translation: Salute to love - Love has broken a commotion on my head)

Follow HuffPost Canada Blogs on Facebook

Also on HuffPost:

Stunning Indian Wedding Photography