09/08/2015 04:36 EDT | Updated 09/08/2016 05:12 EDT

How Not to Be a Douche at the Toronto International Film Festival

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Lights. Camera. Action.

In a few days, show business' big fete lands in Toronto and you are all invited.

The excitement of the 2015 Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) is building and everyone can feel it.

It's a time that brings out the best and at times the worst in people.

In wanting it to go as well as it can for those attending, we have put together a list of things to do/not to do in order that you do not become someone that, well, you don't want to be.

That's right.

A TIFF Douche.

We thought to make T-Shirts (Don't Be a TIFF Douche) but ran out of time. Maybe next year.

We are even going to create a hashtag which we all can track people who are, well, being a #tiffdouche. If you see someone who does any of below, shout them out. Bring them down. Call them out.

Here we go.

Let's start with the obvious. GO see some, um, films. It's a film festival right? RIGHT? How about you challenge your officemates to see who can go to the most and the winner gets a... well, we will let you figure it out.

Know the schedule. Nothing is more attractive then when someone asks you (she/he will be a 10 in all ways, we promise), "Hey, do you know what time X film is playing?" You will be the hero, and, well, that could have many benefits. (#UnderPromiseOverDeliver.) This can help.

Future stars stat. Know what PLATFORM is, TIFF's new juried prize program.

Why go through the stress of getting all dolled up every night? Wear real clothes that filmmakers wear. Like, imagine you are on set.

Never do the following: "I was so wasted last night that I threw up in an Uber and missed the screening of my best buddy's film."

Never say the following: "Yeah, I am a friend of the best friend of the makeup artist's sister, so yeah, that makes me a producer of the film, and yeah, that's pretty cool. Can I buy you a drink?"

Don't leave a Q&A with actors/directors already in progress.

NEVER SAY THE FOLLOWING (unless you want trouble): "I am Harvey Weinstein's cousin."

If and when you meet Jake, Kate, or whatever notable film artist, talk about the craft, the work, something other than what they are wearing, please.

When you meet a filmmaker or actor you don't know, and you say you will check out their film at TIFF, ACTUALLY DO IT.

When you have something good to say about a film, talk about it and share it.

When you have something negative to say about a film, be respectful. The creation of a film is one of the hardest things to do. Respect an artist's courage to put himself/herself out there.

Did you know there are 30,876 total minutes of film to be presented? Impress your colleagues/dates/spouses with your knowledge of TIFF facts and not about how many bottles you can buy at some after party. Some help here.

Don't show up to a film afterparty without seeing the film. Our recommendation is for TIFF to make this a rule starting in 2016.

If you have an extra plus one to go to a film or event, think of someone that would really benefit from attending with you. And it's not your boy from some investment firm, or that gal you met at some club, or that hot guy bouncing that party. It's an emerging actor, a director, someone in the storytelling world. You dig?

Check out Midnight Madness before hitting a club.

GO CANADA. See a Canadian film and in your discussions with others, learn about two new Canadian directors. Some help here.

Little time? No problem. Go see some shorts.

Close the festival by attending the screening of VERTIGO accompanied by a live score.

Go see the smaller films that were sold out during TIFF when they come back to a cinema near you.

One of the more exciting programs are the docs. So many to choose from. Here is the schedule.

And for the love of, don't say Shinan Govani sent you when trying to get into a party. There is only one Shinan, and he sends no one.

So, there you go. Some things to think about as you go about your "TIFFing."

Ultimately, it's a time where storytellers and their stories are in focus. Their work inspires us to be more human and look at the world differently. If we all kept that in mind, this could be a DOUCHE-FREE TIFF.

Do your part to make that so.


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