10/22/2012 12:00 EDT | Updated 12/22/2012 05:12 EST

Falling in Love...With Myself


Falling in, being in, feeling Is there anything better in life, really? I don't think so.

As a lovebird currently riding this wave of bliss, I can attest to that fact. You see, as I write this, I am approaching the one year anniversary of my most intimate relationship ever. At its best, this courtship has filled me with fervor, wrapped me in warmth, and supplied me with plenty of the strength and stability I'd long been searching for.

At its worst, it has left me yearning, feeling vulnerable, and has at times been explosive, raw, and sometimes abusive. You see, I have only just recently re-fallen in love, and have maintained relationship to this point. I have spent the better part of the last year developing and nurturing every aspect of this bond, as it is, and will always be the most important relationship I will ever have. And the object of my affection this time, is me.

It has been a long road, but I think I have finally found the respect, love, and compassion for myself that my ego has held captive for many, many years. I have, over the course of this past year, allowed myself the chance to enjoy my own company, really feel my body and all it can do for me, and finally figured out how to simply honour me for me. I am finally learning what it feels like to be complete. Whole. Happy. And in love.

Now, this is not to say that this new love I have discovered in any way overshadows the all-knowing love that transpires between two people who meet and meld their lives together in the romantic type of way. No, these are two vastly different affairs. But I have finally discovered the important truth that one needs to first love oneself fully before they can completely give themselves to another. In relationships, both parties need to be quite evolved as individuals, and then and only then, can their love blossom into the most beautiful, healthy, and everlasting union there ever was.

I know what it feels like to be totally and completely in love with a man, enamored to the point where the world stops turning. Oh yes, it is divine. First come the butterflies, the newness of it all so thrilling and unpredictable. Then there's the infatuation; pure lust, ecstasy, the inability to think of anyone or anything thing else. Pure euphoria, and along with that, the constant desire to touch, smell, see, hear, and be with that person...ah, the honeymoon stage.

Even later still, come the real juicy bits; the notes, actions, and words that have the power to make one smile regardless of their state of mind. The sharing of ideas, supporting of dreams, and the fueling of forward momentum as a team. The purely romantic gestures from the heart that mean oh-so-much, and continually change life for the better.

Not needing to always be "right," unwavering acceptance, taking pleasure in the "quirks." The laughter, tears, silliness, drama, and pointed connection deeper and more true than any other. The simple day to day interactions, the comfort, the quiet, the stillness. All of it so perfect and a part of the glorious package that is true and lasting love...

Love needs to be cared for. You need to actively participate 100 per cent of the time, lest the flame inevitably begin to smoulder on at least one side of the fire. I know this to be true. Love needs to be fanned, fueled, and felt fully, lest it be taken for granted and forgotten.

Like I said at the top of this post, there really is nothing better than being in love. And now that I am happily in a relationship with my own self, I am excited to see what happens when I am able to again dip into my heart's stores of affection, share my joy, and feel that rapture with another. I look forward to being able to crack open my core, and expose that energy, a pulse of passion just waiting for the opportunity to flow from my heart and into the arms of another once again.

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu

"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'" - Erich Fromm

"True self-love requires radical self-reflection." - Gabrielle Bernstein