02/14/2013 12:09 EST | Updated 04/16/2013 05:12 EDT

Why Real Men Love the Bodies of Melissa McCarthy and Lena Dunham

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LOS ANGELES, CA - FEBRUARY 04: Actress Melissa McCarthy arrives at the premiere of Universal Pictures' 'Identity Thief' at the Village Theatre on February 4, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

The formerly respected film critic, Rex Reed, brought a tsunami of tsouris on himself when he brutally criticized the physical appearance of actress Melissa McCarthy, in his scathing review of "Identity Thief" in a recent edition of the New York Observer.

Reed's obnoxious comments were further prominently displayed in the recent National Post article by David Berry titled, "Rex Reed and the Tractor-Sized Hippo: On Men Who Talk About Women ('s Bodies)". Adding more fuel to the fire.

In his own article, Reed referred to the talented McCarthy as "tractor-sized", "a screeching humongous creep", a "female hippo", a "gimmick comedian" and one "who has devoted her short career to being obese and obnoxious."

Before I deal with Reed's ad hominem attacks on McCarthy's physique, I must take issue with Reed's woeful lack of television and film knowledge. Perhaps years ago, Reed obtained a certain 15 minutes of fame, for being a bitchy film critic. But he is now way past his best before date. And now his film and media knowledge clearly reek.

Melissa McCarthy has not had a short career. Nor has her career been devoted to being obese and obnoxious. For eight solid years, McCarthy starred with Lauren Graham on the very smart and well-written Gilmour Girls.

In that television series, McCarthy played Sookie St. James, a very talented chef and friend and business partner of Loralai Gilmour (Lauren Graham). McCarthy was funny, sweet and lovable. She met, dated and eventually married her funny produce supplier and they had two children on the show.

Throughout the whole eight years, McCarthy was never looked upon as obese and she was never obnoxious. In her breakout film role as one of the bridesmaids, in the Bridesmaids, McCarthy stole every scene she was in. She was dressed a bit mannish and odd. And she had a voracious sexual appetite, but once again she was neither depicted as obese or obnoxious.

Mr. Reed, when you refer to the lovely McCarthy as "tractor-sized, humongous, and female hippo", you have clearly crossed the line from film critic, to self-appointed arbiter of female beauty. A role for which you are disastrously unqualified. And Rex ( I am trying to be politically correct here), you know "dick" about women. You have no clue as to what we heterosexual men, we real men, find attractive in women.

Melissa is sweet, funny, lovable, smart and for us real men, very sexy and attractive. She is clearly comfortable in her skin and she appears always up for a good time. And she will treat us well. And after great sex with her, she may even feed us. We love that about her. We men respect that. We want that in our women.

So Rex Reed, you took some cheap shots. You misfired badly. You embarrassed yourself terribly. You clearly don't know what turns on us real men. You should do the right thing and return to the rat hole from whence you came.

As reported in the above National Post article, during the same week, certain commentators on the internet were also taking potshots at Lena Dunham, the creator/writer and actor of Girls fame. The word in cyberspace was that it was too unrealistic to believe that a hot stud like Patrick Wilson would want to have sex with such a plain, droopy-breasted and pudgy woman like Lena. Once again, there was another cultural hit to women's body self-image.

A woman's body and her self-image is a huge topic in the press and in cyberspace. Hundreds of Facebook pages obsess about this issue. For a guy to talk about a woman's body and her self-image, is a minefield. Hurt Locker comes to mind. Of course, that has never stopped me in the past from possibly crashing and burning.

As with Melissa McCarthy. Lena Dunham is happy and comfortable in her own skin. She is fine with her own sexuality. From the guy's perspective, many of us want to be with women like Lena, who are comfortable in their own skin. And who want to get naked with us. And be adventurous with us. It is as simple as that. If a guy will only sleep with you if you have a perfect body, he is truly an idiot. He is not worth your time.

Also, many of us guys hate women who are botoxed to the max, in an effort to look "perfect". As John Ruskin notes, "to banish imperfection is to banish expression." We men like women with wrinkles and lines. We have wrinkles and lines. We want women with expressive faces. Not hard faces that cannot move and feel and express.

We don't mind if breasts are a little saggy. Better natural and real, than strangely pointed and cement-filled.

There is beauty in a woman's imperfections. There is perfection in her imperfections. Forget about the over-rated duo of Aniston and Jolie. They are so self- absorbed, they probably would be disappointing in the sack.

Now Melissa and Lena, those are two women we guys could really love.

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