We as parents fight for our children's rights furiously when we think our kid is being bullied. But what do we do when we encounter bullying as adults?
I decided it was time to take action. I started seeing a counselour and began the difficult task of dealing with the beliefs and feelings I had built up as a result of the bullying. My counselour helped me identify links between the trauma I had endured and the choices I had made as an adult. Learning about these patterns blew my mind.
Mean girls (and boys) graduate high school, go on to college, get jobs, get married and have kids of their own. If Regina George never learned to stop her bullying ways, isn't it fair to say that she and her fellow, now adult, Plastics are still engaging in similar hurtful behaviour as adults? So how do we get off this vicious cycle of child bullies growing up into adult tormentors? It's simple. The answer is, and always will be, love and compassion. Yes, we can teach old dogs new tricks. And alpha dog Regina George is no different.
I was repetitively asked "Are you a boy or a girl?" throughout childhood and adolescence and usually followed by "Fucking dyke!" Very recently, all of these wounds resurfaced when I saw this comment left by a woman on a video I posted on Facebook to raise funding for a tour for my band The Cliks. Don't shame me for speaking up for myself. Shame those who hurt me.
Unless we self-reflect and make a change we risk becoming the voice we grew up defying. We might live long enough to see ourselves become the villain. The circle of defiance continues except now our children are the rebels and we are the evil empire.