Here's the thing: being nice and being assertive are not mutually exclusive.
It's very easy to judge another. Everyone does it. On Friday, we went to grab a bite at Wendy's. Ahead of us, there was an
Unfortunately, unlike second-hand smoke, we cannot legislate against second-hand negativity. First of all, anyone of us we can be "that negative person" at different times. It is actually a natural default to go negative; to assume the worst.
I hug an acquaintance, start catching up and then I start coughing. I take a sip of my wine but the mucus in my throat seems to get thicker. Cough. Cough. Wheeze. Cough. Some people are looking at me. Oh, how embarrassing. Deciding to catch my breath privately, I leave and head down the hall looking for a ladies' room while digging for my asthma puffer. Hmm, there's a distinct wheeze. It's OK. One good inhalation of this puffer is all I ever need. Uh oh. There's a problem. I can't inhale now.
My definition is a very simple one: "codependency" occurs when we put other people's needs ahead of our own on a fairly consistent basis. In truth, when we are codependent, we are also people-pleasers who will go to virtually any lengths to avoid unpleasant conflict with others.