You need to see that your partner has suffered too, not from your anger, but from the weight of his or her own actions. If you believe your partner deeply regrets his actions, knows he was wrong, and even feels he violated his own personal standards, you will feel more trusting and open to forgiveness.
Sure, you may still end up fighting, but it won't be nearly as acute. And haven't you noticed how much easier everything seems when you and your loved one are close? How life feels better? Deadlines seem less daunting, children seem less demanding, and other stressors become more manageable.
With our couple, Robyn feels insecure about their connectedness. She wants to feel close. So when he comes home late, she turns that into, "I'm not important. He doesn't care." She feels hurt or abandoned, and that's why she gets upset. On the other hand, Blair needs validation. His sense of identity and confidence are important.
This may be one of the greatest conundrums a couple can face. How to have a stable and secure relationship, and keep the passion alive? How to become a family (with or without children) and yet remain lovers? We have gathered research, clues, and client feedback for some practical ways to stay hot and heavy.
Halloween is fast approaching, and what better way to celebrate than making up a goofy couples costume with your significant other. There are endless possibilities for costumes for two, here are a few ideas to get you started.
I have three tips that I call the "Three R's of reviving your sex life" and they are great for couples with kids who are looking to regain the sense of freedom they had before children. Although it sounds contradictory to plan for spontaneity, it's real life. Here's my advice.
Relationships are messy, and sometimes love sucks. You won't always be 22 and carefree and riding on a train through Europe, wondering if you should doodle in your journal or take a nap. The movie Before Midnight understands that long-term love never comes easy, and romance isn't always about long walks in a Viennese park.
And so it seems the quality of our sex lives hangs in the balance of these ordinary life moments that have little to nothing to do with sex. And just as easily, they can be reconciled and turned around in a matter of seconds. Remember: In these moments it's really up to you and your partner which way you want your relationship to go.
For years, I have been perplexed by how rarely we discuss sex with our partners. I recognize these conversations are not easy for many people. When egos are exposed, you need an even blend of vulnerability and humour but most importantly love and respect for each other.
Last Christmas, my best friend's spouse bought her a pair of furry, leopard panties -- size XXL. He's never lived it down. But even that unfortunate purchase is eclipsed by a gift one of my clients received from her mate: a pair of nose-hair clippers, sent, with love, from "The Nose Hair Fairy." For many couples, gift-giving is a minefield of potential conflict.