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difficult people

We've all had to deal with difficult people at work. We often work with people we don't like and sometimes we work with people who don't like us.
I'm willing to bet that the person involved in the email confrontation was not aware that she was being unfair, humiliating, potentially malicious or vindictive. I'm willing to bet that these people thought they were handing the situation clearly and in a businesslike manner. That was not the case.
If I am going to have a conversation about washing bodies and clothing, my goal is that my employee (or co-worker) will agree to wash their clothing and body on a more regular basis. Perhaps you want them to take home any clothing they have stored at work, for a washing. Maybe you want them to stop wearing cologne. Perhaps you want them to shower after using the gym at lunch.
There may come a time in your relationship with your difficult person when you realize it is never going to work out. You are never going to reach a middle ground. You are never going to change their behaviour. Is it OK to give up? Absolutely!
Rather than focusing on your anger, focus on hearing what the other person is saying. Don't listen to what they are saying -- hearing and listening are two totally different things. Hear past the person's words, and try to understand what they are trying to tell you.
I'm dealing with an avoider. I find it very frustrating. Every once in a while you will encounter a situation where you want
Susan was a fellow office manager. She was given a budget to decorate for Christmas. As she transformed our offices with green and tinsel, she also loudly voiced what a waste of time and money it was. She even complained about the lunch-time Christmas party on Christmas Eve when we could leave early. Oh, for crying out loud!
Anger or anxiety disables our thinking brain. We need to re-calibrate what we are thinking in order to reclaim our emotional balance. That being said, when someone is putting pressure on us or elevating our blood pressure, stepping back and approaching things differently can help improve the outcome.
Oh no. You can hear them coming down the hall and are wishing you could hide under your desk. Being on a team project with them can feel like there's no escaping them. You know who I'm talking about: the nay-sayers and folks who seem to go around thinking there's a contest to be won for complaining or seeing the worst out of every situation.