Having to guide my boys on my own, take care of them and make plans for us has made me brave. They rely on me for their basic survival, not to mention emotional support, and I will not let my own fears or insecurities get in the way of that responsibility.
Accepting that the marriage is really over is hard for many divorcing parents. In my case, although I initiated the split, I could only look sideways at myself as a soon-to-be-divorced woman. The pain surrounding that was too overpowering to take in all at once -- I felt it would have squashed me if I tried. So I got to know it gradually, with support, until I could stare it right in the eye.
The first day of school was a biggie for us. We all had the back-to-school jitters, so my ex and I brought our boys to school together on their first day last year. It was awkward, and I felt like a phoney showing up to school looking like a family, but I got over it quickly. My kids were happy to have both their parents at school to wave to them and support them as they walked through the school doors.
This is never a good idea.