JP Bedard

I'm here to tell you that I'm not playing along. If my talking openly about being vulnerable makes you feel uncomfortable, then tough shit.
I used to live in the moment, and that moment was usually an all-consuming desire not to just escape, but to annihilate -- to numb everything inside of me. I was suicidal and wanted nothing more than oblivion. I can remember the morning I walked out of that hospital like it was yesterday, but in fact, it was 7,328 days ago, and I've been clean and sober ever since.
Resilience has very little to do with surviving, and everything to do with awakening into where you are at this very moment. When we distance ourselves from, or anaesthetize ourselves against trauma and loss, we inadvertently diminish the potential breadth and beauty of our life.
I am an elite athlete, and I'm known for running insanely long distances, and for brushing up against the limits of human
Even though I currently find myself on the other side of depression, I am ever so aware of how thin that veil is between me and fragile mental health. It's times like these, when I'm feeling my strongest, that I realize how important it is to bring depression to the fore.
We often think of resilience as a manifestation of the human spirit's ability to survive the unfathomable -- those grand disasters and tragedies that populate news headlines and our social media feeds. It's as though we don't believe resilience could possible be at play in the midst of our own "mundane" life.
Like many people around the world, I too, felt the shock waves of the election and Donald Trump being elected as the 45th President of the United States. Many of us are in disbelief that someone so brash and caustic is set to become the leader of the most powerful country on the planet. Yet, here I sit at my computer feeling grateful... Grateful that I'm an addict in recovery.
Is there anything more tragic than going through life "unseen," feeling crushingly alone despite being in community? That's exactly what living with the stigma of compromised mental health feels like.
A characteristic of resilience is having an ability to make decisions without having all the answers figured out first. I believe this comes from a faith that no matter how something works out, you will either have success or you will learn something important about yourself.
A few years ago, I disclosed to my wife that I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse -- a secret I thought I would harbor in my soul until the day I died. What is someone to do when the person they so dearly love shares such searing pain with them?